Himitsu no Yoake
by Marien Verity Reed
Summary: Secret Dawn. Once she arrived at the Akatsuki she thought she could escape her past, but then she discovers secrets that might threaten her life.
1. Counting Steps

_This story is a modernized Naruto/Akatsuki Fanfic using a new original character. _

_It is my new project. _

_I usually don't write in first person, and you will notice it is also mostly in present tense, which is something completely new to me. _

_I would like an opinion on it. Go ahead and tell me everything you disliked or liked about it. __I appreciate any and all reviews. _

* * *

I'd like to tell you where I am, but if I did that they'd surely kill you. The reason I'm here is because I did something wrong, very wrong, but I don't want to think about that.

As I am walking up the gravel path I can't help to glance behind me. What am I leaving behind? I have no family, no friends, and not much of a life. Why am I worried?

Twenty steps and I'm already terrified of what might happen. I don't know what to expect, but something is telling me it won't be good. Three minutes later I turn around and continue to walk up the path.

The mansion is narrow with red rose vines crawling up the sides and over windows. It gives off an eerie, gothic feel that sends tingles up my spine. With my eyes wide open, a pale finger twirling nervously in my hair, and lips pursed tightly I saunter up the twelve steps and knock three times on the oak door. In my thoughts I count five slow seconds before the door finally opens to reveal a blue haired woman. There is a white flower in her hair that is tied up in a bun.

"May I see your invitation?" she asks in a voice that would make anyone do what she wants. I fumble in my jean pockets until the thin paper finally brushes against my fingers. The woman already seems bored as I hand the invitation over to her. It takes her only two seconds to welcome me inside the grand entrance.

I don't have enough time to really check the place out before I hear her talking to someone. My attention draws to the woman conversing silently to a man with orange and spiky hair. I start to wonder if his hair is natural unlike my unnatural hair that is white with grey streaks.

"Hisoka," I hear him say my name and take exactly two steps forward towards the man, "do you remember why you're here?"

My body shakes at the tone he uses. He's probably testing me to see what I know. I'm at a loss trying to figure out if he wants me to play dumb or answer correctly.

Finally I give up and say, "I did something wrong. I'm not normal." We stare at each other for twenty seconds, which is a long time when you're counting.

"Indeed." I guess I said the right thing as he motions me closer to him. The blue haired woman leaves without saying a goodbye. "Walk with me." I follow him as he takes lead and climbs up the stairs. There are exactly thirty steps before we reach the top. "You always count, don't you?"

I'm surprised and it shows obviously on my expression. "How do you know?" I ask dumbfounded and completely oblivious.

"It's my job to know everything about people. You're no exception," he says to me making my body shake again with that god-like voice.

We continue down the hall, my brain trying to take count, but I block the numbers from pouring into my thoughts. It's annoying and wears me down causing me to remember everything about a place. For example, I remember there were twelve steps to the door, I knocked three times, and it took five seconds for the blue haired woman to answer the door. The door is made of oak and the steps are stone even though I didn't look.

"I see you also get very lost in your thoughts," the man said placing his hand on my forehead to bring me back to reality. I gasp at his cold touch and shake once more. His face leans closer to mine as he studies me like a strange piece of art. It feels like my whole life history is printed on my face, and I can't help to wonder how he's able to do that.

"There's no need for you to be nervous," he tells me calmly as if nothing is out of the norm.

I think of anything I can say, and the lamest thing pops into my head. "You never told me your name."

He nods his head and agrees with me. "Address me as Pein, and the woman is Konan."

We step through a door that I realize leads into a study with large bookcases lined up against the walls. Several desks are scattered through the room and two people are sitting next to a large window.

"This is where I will leave you. I will find you later or whenever I may need you. Enjoy your stay, Hisoka."

I realize I'm holding my breath when he finally leaves after taking three steps forward and one around the corner.

"So this is the new recruit," says a deep, intimidating voice that belongs to the man with abnormal silver hair. He circles around me three times and stops behind me to lean his heavy arm on my head.

"She looks weak," retorts a muscular man with long black hair and covered from head to toe in black attire. I already can tell we're not going to get along. He's the type that no matter what you say he'll never like you.

"Probably. What's your name girly?" The other guy is starting to piss me off as well.

Then I recall why I am here and stop myself from doing something I'd regret, again.

"It's Hisoka. What about you two?"

Suddenly I'm uncomfortable as the silver haired man lowers his arm, and I feel his fingers trace the center of my spine. I'm getting a feeling that his eyes are searching for the best way to handle whatever evil he is thinking right now.

The taller one takes a single, giant stride forward that sends my brain reeling trying to figure out how many regular steps that would amount to.

That's another reason I hate the counting. Every time something irregular happens my brain tries to calculate it instead of helping me escape situations such as these.

"Hidan," whispers the man behind me in a chilling voice.

The other prevents me from escaping, even though I know this is impossible, and says coldly, "Kakuzu."

At least I know they're names. For whatever reason it doesn't help.

"Get off me."

I sound weak even to myself, and it only makes the two guys laugh at me. My eyes are stinging from frustrating tears as I attempt to look for an escape route. Kakuzu must have seen this, because he signals the other who wraps his arm tightly around my neck.

As he is applying pressure to my neck I suddenly realize my breathing is becoming very difficult. My eyes wildly roll around trying in vain to search for help while my body reacts by struggling. When you're not in a situation like this you'd know that struggling should be the last thing you do, but honestly, I'm being cornered by two guys easily out weighing me, both with devilish intentions, and I'm practically fighting for my life.

Strangely I'm thinking about the reasons I'm here, and wondering why I even decided to come. It had been three days ago when I received that invitation. The paper appeared to be very expensive as I read what seemed like a death sentence. They knew what I've done and who I was. This group called the Akatsuki had listed two terrible things and what I'm capable of, which I'm not proud of in the least. I was freaking out for three hours, pacing around my small apartment two hundred and fifty times, and then I did something that made me realize I had no choice.

That's how I ended up here at this mansion with people who were like me, whatever that means. As crazy as it sounds I'm not surprised I'm fighting for my life.


	2. A Garden All My Own

_Sorry about the delay. School also held me back. I actually had to redo this whole chapter because I didn't like the way it came out the first time. So, finally I'm able to complete the second chapter. :)_

* * *

Hidan's laughter starts out like a deep rumble, and his shoulders shudder with each chuckle even with his arm forced against my neck. His shrill laugh resonates in my ears causing my body to quake in dread. He's insane, I think attempting to catch a breath.

"What's the matter? Can't breathe?" Again he laughs, and I take this distraction to cuff a hand on his wrist and raise my elbow before plunging it into his ribs.

He reels backwards, letting me loose, and shouts curses at me as I stumble to the floor. Instantly I gasp trying to take in more air than I actually need. My thoughts race with every detail of the strangulation burned into my memory.

My head swings to the side to see Hidan storming towards my defenseless body. He takes three strides before I'm able to scramble to my feet, but instead of running away I stand there positioning myself to fight.

"Are you screwing with me?" he asks with wide, livid violet eyes staring at me in mock disbelief. "Hey, Kakuzu. This bitch thinks she can take me."

Kakuzu steps forward and I avert my eyes so that my brain doesn't count the steps making me more vulnerable. "I'd give her twenty bucks if she can mess you up," he states giving a deep throated chuckle.

Despite my situation and uncertainty, I want to laugh when I see Hidan turn to the man with his mouth agape. At first there's no words, but eventually he shouts, "Who's side are you on asshole?"

He doesn't answer as he waves a real twenty dollar bill between his tanned fingers. It's more money than I've seen in my life, which is pretty sad.

"I'm very careful about my money unlike someone I know," he says shaking his head probably referring to Hidan.

"Fuck you, Kakuzu. I'll finish this on my own, so don't get your ass involved." Hidan's eyes capture mine in such an intense stare I almost lose my nerve.

Kakuzu reacts with a grunt and shrug. "You should know that even Hell runs on money," he mumbles clearly irate because of the tempered male. "I'm serious, girl. You rough him up and this is yours." Again he waves the dollar bill pinched between his fingers as if taunting me, and I'm almost tempted to simply steal it from him. However, that would likely end me up either bloodied or dead.

"You're such a dick. Come on you little cunt, let's see-" He's cut off when my fist swings in an arch that causes him to take a quick step to the side. Before I can bring my arm back he clutches my balled fist in a vine grasp that's almost impossible for me to escape from.

My second option is lifting my leg and swinging it towards his upper chest. He easily captures my ankle as well and tightens both grips enough so that I won't be able to escape.

"Hah I've seen better," he says starting to get cocky.

My temper flares even though I made this plan from the start. Using Hidan like a stepping stone over a river, I kick my other foot off the ground and smack the bridge of his nose with my knee.

"Dammit!" He's obviously pissed as he staggers backwards two steps, holding his nose carefully, and glaring at me with petrifying eyes.

Honestly I'm surprised that even works. I'm not as weak as I seem to be, and I do know basic fighting skills. Now compare that to someone who looks like they fight all the time like Hidan, and I don't even come anywhere close.

As I watch Hidan wipe a fist under his nose, I catch a glimpse of red on his knuckle. Before long he's coming at me with his hands clenched getting ready to deliver a punch.

My brain is shouting for me to dodge or even run away as my heart races. Instead I side step at the last minute avoiding him completely, but when I attempt to throw a punch I come up short and miss. It's a crucial mistake that I pay for dearly.

He quickly takes advantage of this by reaching out and seizes the collar of my shirt dragging me in. Within what seems like the slowest second of my life I shut my eyes tightly before my cheek connects with his knuckle.

My jaw feels as if it is shattering, but my mind is focusing more on the metallic taste that swivels in my mouth.

Soon I hit the ground, banging the back of my head on the floor, and spit out blood that drizzles from the corner of my mouth. My brain is in a daze as two fists hammer my ribs and chest. Naturally my body curls up trying to save itself from most of the blows, but each of his punches seems to hit its mark.

The torment ceases when Hidan is yanked from me followed by hollers and insults between the two men. Meanwhile I roll onto my side feeling as if all my bones are cracking. I must have more bruises than imaginable and groan in agony even as I'm spitting out chunks of blood.

My limbs wobble violently as I'm trying to pick myself up, and eventually I'm able to lean half my body weight against my arms. Soon enough my throat burns as something sticky and hot creeps up. The blood oozes off my tongue and lingers on my bottom lip as I painfully cough into the puddle of red liquid on the floor. No matter how much I attempt to rid my mouth of the disgusting liquid only more comes out.

"She's really messed up," I hear Kakuzu say finally noticing me. He squats beside me and lifts my head up only to get splattered by some of my blood. He seems pissed about it but silently wipes it away.

Hidan kneels to my other side and stares at me not seeming to care. Actually he seems to be enjoying the sight of the blood trickling down the corners of my mouth.

"Oh fuck," he curses clenching his teeth and roughly scratches his scalp. I'm guessing he finally realizes how bad it is.

Kakuzu helps me to my feet, his arms the only thing holding me up. "Take her to Sasori's room," he orders Hidan to do.

"Why me?" he asks glaring at the other man and folding his arms disdainfully over his puffed up chest.

"It's your mess, Hidan, so you clean it up." Kakuzu hands me over to Hidan who reluctantly agrees and swings my arm over his shoulders.

I can't hold back the groans and cries from bubbling up in my throat along with the blood. My whole body hurts, and it's hard to tell where exactly it originated from. Even though he might not be happy with helping me, Hidan is actually being gentle as he puts an arm under my legs and holds me close to him.

As he carries me down a few hallways I can hear his heart beating irregularly. It makes me wonder if he really cares that I'm hurt. I'm reluctant to ask him, since he probably wouldn't answer me anyways.

Before we get there my body starts to shake, and it feels as if my own skin is trying to crush my bones. Hidan notices and quickens his pace until he's in a jog.

At one of the doors he stops and basically kicks the door in, which would have broken if it hadn't been slightly ajar.

"Who-" Begins a voice but he doesn't continue. Even though my vision is obscured I can see the young man has reddish-brown hair and mocha colored eyes, which are set on me right now. "Hurry. Put her down here." He takes his gaze off me for five seconds as he clears off a spot on the bed. Hidan hastily complies and lowers me gently onto the bed.

After he puts me down the young man asks him to leave.

"You may call me Sasori," he introduces while accessing my injuries. "There's a lot of internal bleeding, but it appears that all your bones are intact."

When he walks over to the desk I see him pick up something that resembles a bottle and a sharp object that I'm guessing is a needle. I fidget uncomfortably terrified of trusting someone I don't even know with my life. "W-what's that for?" I ask, my eyes wide with fear as he paces back over to me.

His hand brushes against my sweating forehead and stares into my eyes for a moment. "I have to make you go to sleep so that I can tend the wounds," he explains in a soothing voice. Without hearing any more from me he administers the drug that knocks me into a deep sleep.

When I eventually awaken my brain doesn't remember where I am. As I wait for the drug to wear off completely I turn my head to see several hundred puppets hanging from the wall. My heart thumps in my chest as the puppets seem to be watching me, weeping and shrieking as if trying to warn me of something. I finally look away from those artificial eyes and the imagined voices die away as well.

Once my heartbeat returns to normal, I prop myself up on my elbows. Now I remember how I got here. Hidan had carried me to this room, and that guy- Sasori- must have done a really good job. None of my bones hurt and no longer was a coughing blood.

"How do you feel?" Sasori walks into the room and closes the door behind him. He pulls up a stool next to the bed and sits down watching me. I notice his hair sticks out in either direction and the small smile on his lips seems distant.

"Much better now." I wriggle my fingers together just a bit nervous. My gaze lingers on the puncture hole in my arm that reminds me of the needle. Before my mind can dwell into those thoughts, I feel his hand on top of my head.

"You are a very lucky girl to survive a beating by Hidan, and even more surprising is you survived with only fractures," he says to me almost nonchalant. I glower at him and twist my head away from his hand, which drops to his lap.

As if to prove that I'm stronger than everyone thinks, I lift myself off the bed, staggering at first, and then stand up straight still frowning at Sasori.

He chuckles at me and stands up as well. I watch him take a single step towards me, and a sharp chill shoots up my spine when his fingers brush the back of my neck. He captures my gaze, and I'm able to see the sapphire hue of my eyes reflected on the surface of his glassy ones.

"You still haven't told me your name," his voice is strangely deep and alluring. I'm frozen in place with only my lips able to move.

"It's Hisoka..." I have no last name for two reasons. The first being that I never claimed a surname, and the other was that no one in my family had given me one.

There's a glint in his eyes as if he's just formed a plan. Neither of us say or do anything for twenty seconds, and that's when the door flings open creating a loud thump when it hits the wall.

Sasori glares at the door and sighs frustrated. Then I remember Hidan having kick in the door. Poor guy had to deal with his door being kicked today.

"What is it brat?" he growls taking his hand away from my neck and standing between the person who just entered and me. I tilt my head to the left so that I now see another young male with long blond hair that shields his left eye and only a fraction of it is tied up in a ponytail. Most people would probably have confused him for a girl, but his style seemed more masculine to me. Maybe those people are just sexist.

By now the two have been talking or arguing, as it seems, for a good few minutes without my noticing. Becoming bored of being out of the picture, I saunter three steps beside Sasori and halfheartedly wave at the blond guy.

"Ah, I've finally met the girl who took on the masochist. How interesting... hmmm." Masochist? That would explain that insane laughter when he had choked me. My hand curled around my neck recalling the memory.

"And you are?" I ask prying myself back to reality.

He smirks and replays, "Deidara. Yours?"

"Hisoka," I respond and nod my head before he reaches out messing his hands in my hair. "What? You're going to ruin it," I exclaim shaking my head. I didn't have a brush or even a room, and so I need to be careful until I can get some basic things.

"So? It's such a strange white and grey color... hmm. How'd it get this way... hmm?" Even Sasori is curious as he leans in to listen. Actually, I'm not even sure I want to say anything. I've had this hair color for a long time, and yet I'm not entirely sure how it came to be.

"Um," I think for a moment of what I could possibly say, "I'm not sure... entirely. Just sort of happened when I was nine. That's when the whole... weirdness happened." I don't like talking about it, and with the look of understanding in both of their eyes I know I don't have to continue.

Sasori clears his throat and points to the door. "I think it's about time you leave, Deidara." The blond pouts and shrugs his shoulders.

"Fine. Just remember what I said... hmm." Then he turns around and exits the bedroom not bothering to shut the door he had slammed open earlier.

Sasori walks to the opened door and closes it muttering about people being annoying. I watch as he travels over to the wall with about a hundred puppets hanging from it. He examines a few of them before glancing over his shoulder at me.

There's a faint smile on his lips that continues to make me wonder. He's so mysterious that it draws me in and makes me want to know him more. Even when my mind tells me it's dangerous I ignore that thought and continue to walk towards the unexpected.

"Are you hungry?"

I tilt my head to my right side counting the three seconds it takes me to answer. "A little bit, I think."

"You think you're hungry?" he asks with a questioning look. It has been three and a half days since the last time I ate excluding drinks.

"Okay, yes, I'm hungry," I admit with a sudden smile as Sasori walks close enough to my side that our fingers touch. He stalls for five seconds, causing my breath to quicken until he takes hold of my hand.

"Good. I'll show you to the kitchen."

As we saunter out of the room and down the hall a man approaches us. Sasori tugs my hand causing me to take a single, stumbling step behind him.

"Is there something you want?"

While the two speak to each other, I lean to the left to peer at the man who approaches us. His hair is long, tied in a low hanging ponytail, and devoid of color. His eyes are the same way and cast a solemn and equally distant. The look makes my heart weigh heavily in my chest, and so I avert my eyes to stare at the ground counting the grains in the wood.

"Why would I want something?" he challenged, but both of them seem indifferent to the situation. Then I feel his eyes bearing into the back of my head making me lower it. It never feels good when someone stares at you, or at least in my opinion. "We've not yet met. I'm Itachi Uchiha. What is your name?"

I perk my head up and our eyes are caught in an intense stare. I want to look away, but those darkened hues prevented me as if creating some illusion. I can't remember how long it's been, but eventually I am able to speak.

"It's Hisoka. Um... Nice to meet you, Itachi." I seem unsure to myself, and I'm sure he senses it. However he welcomes me with a nod, his eyes releasing me from whatever bind he had me confined in.

Soon enough Sasori is back to leading me to the kitchen. I count twenty cabinets, two stoves, and one large fridge. It's a comfortable space that even has an island in the center.

"We don't use it often," Sasori says coolly releasing my hand and walks to the fridge. Considering the luxury of the kitchen it surprises me that they hardly use it. "Everyone's always busy, myself included," he added while leaning back to hand me a muffin wrapped in plastic.

I quickly remove the wrapping and take a small bite. The taste of blueberries fills my mouth, and I'm grinning while I finish the muffin.

Sasori watches me with little evidence to distinguish what he is thinking.

I turn around to throw the wrapped away, and just as it leaves my hand I feel a hand on my head. Only a second later I feel his latent breath against my ear.

We're like this for seventeen seconds, his hand travels down to the base of my neck, and I'm not sure what to make of all it.

Just as quickly, he leans back and walks around the counter. "I'll be in my room if you need anything. I'm sure Pein will want to see you." I find it puzzling that he knows more than I do most of the time if not all of it.

He saunters off until I can no longer see him once he climbs the stairs and turns the corner.

I'm not sure if Pein had been there before, but when I glance to the side I see him there leaning against the doorframe.

"How does he do that?" I ask myself thinking that I was the only one to hear.

"Sasori never reveals his secrets," Pein answers with little concern. He leans off the paneling and waves his hand forward, signaling me to follow him, which I do.

We take sixty-six steps from the kitchen, up the stairs, and down two hallways until we are in front of a maple door. He opens it to reveal a spacious room with a white platform bed straight across from the door. There isn't much in the room, which makes me quite comfortable, and I notice what looks like a sliding door to the left. It seems Pein notices my suspicion as he demonstrates that it opens up. On the other side is a breathtaking garden with a small pond surrounded by medium sized rocks.

"This is one of the few rooms that has a private garden," he mentions watching me, probably analyzing my reactions. He pays attention to everything, which makes him like a leader.

"It's very beautiful, but why do I get one?" I'm not used to having things given to me, especially in such lavish ways.

His lips slant into a half smile as he bends enough to capture my eyes. I finally notice the circles around his pupils and the lavender color they held. There is something intimidating yet majestic about them that adds to this god-like image Pein appeals.

"Don't worry about such things. Now that you have a new room, get some rest. Goodnight, Hisoka."

As he leaves I say back, "Night, Pein, and thank you for... everything." I'm not sure, but I would have thought he had smiled.

That night I lay in my new bed, probably the only real one I've ever had, and relax into the blankets. The pillows are gold, which I think makes my hair almost stand out like silk. I stroke the hair that lays over the pillow with a relieved sigh.

Ever since I arrived at the Akatsuki things have changed. No longer do I have to rely on the streets to keep me alive, and now I'm actually resting in my own bedroom on a very comfortable bed.

Although it was a rough beginning, I have hope for this place, but still I remain skeptical so as to not be disappointed. If they kick me out I'll just go back to what I had been doing before this place without any protest. I don't belong among people who don't want me.

"I shouldn't think like that," I whisper to myself turning over on my side and staring into the dark room. My eyes feel heavy until I am finally lolled to sleep by the pure silence.


	3. Corn Chips

The room is still dark while I wake up, my eyes begging to close again. I never realize how tired I am most of the time. I've been able to go without sleep for almost three weeks with an hour nap in-between, and so this was the best sleep I've gotten probably ever.

"And so you finally awaken."

My eyes widen to take in the sight of Sasori sitting at the edge of the bed. I'm not sure how or when he got here, but I'm still happy he's here at all.

As I lift myself up I rub my eyes with my knuckles gently so that I don't hurt them. "Good morning, Sasori," I greet him with a light yawn at the end.

He says nothing back as he seems to wait for me to get out of bed. We both notice I have no clothes, having slept in the ones from yesterday.

"I believe there should be some spare clothes in those shelves," he informs me with a gesture of his hand in the direction of a handcrafted dresser.

When I open the middle draw I see that he is right. Inside there are several stacks of clothes ranging from shirts, pants, intimates, and even old fashioned Japanese wear. I turn around about to thank Sasori when I notice he had left. Either that or he discovered the secret of invisibility.

I'm laughing to myself as I strip off my dirty clothes, but I stop instantly once my fingers brush against the bandages that wrap around my abdomen. I remember each hit as if it was occurring once again. Honestly, I didn't blame Hidan or even have a grudge against him. It's hard to explain, even just thinking about it.

I exhale before tugging off the rest of my clothes, and then I pull out random clothes without seeing what they were.

After I take a very relaxing shower, scrubbing every inch of my body, brushing my teeth, and fixing my hair, I finally get to see what I pulled out of the magic hat, or dresser in this case.

It's a black and grey checkered, button-up shirt with a white tie, and once I put it on I fold the collar while leaving the last two buttons unfasten. The jeans I had picked out has professional tears near the legs, thighs, and knees, wrap around my ankles tightly, and are a grayish blue.

Before I exit the room I notice a note on the tables beside the door. The piece of line paper is completely blank except for a strange symbol with a circle around a triangle. For some reason it looks familiar, but I decide it's not worth the brain power.

I'm walking down the hall realizing I don't even know where I'm going, but I act like it trying to hide my uneasiness by shoving my hands deep into the jean pockets.

Then I hear pounding footsteps behind me, and when I look over my shoulder I see that man with slicked back hair. Even though he's practically in a sprint, his hair goes nowhere, and his eyes set onto me.

"Hey," he says hardly breathless, "did you get my note?" His grin makes my face feel hot as I think he expects me to know what he means.

"So, it was you?" Just after I said it I notice the rosary, if one can call it that, hanging around his neck in the same shape as the symbol on the piece of paper.

He suddenly smacked me over the back of my head, making me yelp in surprise, and he shows me the necklace as if I'm a three-year-old. "Who else? Dumbass."

My lips turn upside down in a frown of disappointment. Even as I rub my head I feel like I should have known. Hidan sort of makes me feel that way.

"Don't frown, Hisoka." He puts his hand on the back of my head and massages the spot he had smacked a moment ago. I'll admit that it feels nice, at least much better than when he had whacked me.

Finally I decide to ask him, "What did you want?" Again he smacks the back of my head, but lighter this time so I only wince.

"You, dumbass. Let's go!" He grabs my hand, and now we're running like mad dogs down the thirty steps of stairs and passed four doors until we enter a room. In this room is a large screen with four rows of couches each with twenty-five seats. "In the front."

My gaze darts to Hidan as confusion sets in to replace the bewilderment. "Wait a minute. What are we doing exactly?"

He's not answering as we walk passed fifteen seats towards the front of the first row. Once I plop down in one of the red, velvety seats, he bends and presses the button on top of a black box. I'm not sure what it is, but at least I know the time is 11:09 in the early afternoon.

It's hard to hold in my terror when the room fills with an ear shattering rumble and the large screen darkens with the image of a gigantic WB. I'm covering my ears as tightly as I'm able to when I see Hidan is looking at me with the strangest expression; as if I had just said I came from Mars.

"Have you never watched a movie?" he asks me still perplexed by my reactions. I'm almost afraid to answer the question.

"N-no. I wasn't allowed to watch movies, but it never bothered me."

He's shaking his head from side to side with only a slight hint of disappointment in his expression. "Well, today's your lucky day. We're going to watch one of my favorite movies," he tells me before he's standing up. "But I forgot something." Then he's running out of the theater room in nine leaps and turns the corner.

After three minutes of random commercials talking about upcoming movies, the main movie pops up. The entire screen is black and red with a man seeming angry to the side of the menu options. Additionally, there's a large 300 on the top.

"Right on time!" Hidan shouts as he's bouncing seven steps back towards me, a yellow bag in his hands. When he's beside me his hand shoots out, and he smacks the back of my head. I want to yell at him to stop doing that, but his silly grin is making me smile too.

"What are those?" I ask once he sits down beside me with the remote in hand.

"Corn chips, idiot. What? You can't fucking say you've never had corn chips," he remarks and slaps his hand against his face. I'm blushing, and I know this because when Hidan looks back at me he starts to smirk. It's making my face heat up more.

He hands out the bag, which I proceed to reach into it to take a handful of golden chips. I try one, and it surprises me that I really like them.

"Help yourself. You'll be losing them in just a few moments." He presses play and sits back, but I'm getting this feeling like he's watching me more than the movie.

Half way through it... "Why are you making me watch this?" I exclaim with my eyes probably about to pop out of my head. The movie is unbelievably violent, with heads being chopped off, stabbing people left and right, and the nudity is everywhere.

Hidan's been laughing at me for the past ten minutes and six seconds. I don't even think he can get a word out.

I'm bending over the seat to stare at the man pouting. "You're not very nice." He finally stops laughing and lifts his fingers to brush against some of my hair.

"When you discover that, idiot?" He starts to laugh at me again, and it makes me forget all about the violent movie.

"Stop laughing at me!" I tackle him down on the connected seats, and then we're tumbling off and onto the floor. If I wasn't struggling with Hidan I'd laugh at the irony of the whole thing.

"Make me, bitch," he laughs, which actually makes me more frustrated. I lift my hand and slap him across the face, but he only seems to be enjoying it. Again I slap him until I switch to punch his chest. "No you don't."

Hidan tosses me almost completely in the air before knocking me over a stack of CDs. "Damn," I mutter, but I don't have time to check myself as he picks me up by my tie.

"I have to admit, Hisoka, you're the best fun I've ever had," he says to me in a low, deadly voice while the movie is silent. It lasts for only five slow seconds before the room fills with screams and booms from the movie. At the same time Hidan is punching my stomach, which makes me want to throw up everything I'd ever eaten.

I'm trying to speak, but he just keeps hitting until eventually he slams my weakened body onto the wall. His eyes are glistening with a terrifying shine that makes my body start to quiver.

"Remember that you started this," he warns me while he is leaning towards my face, but his head tilts on the course to my neck.

Again I attempt to say something, but now he's biting the flesh as if he wants to sever the artery. Just as quickly as this fight began, he releases me, but I never hit the floor. Hidan catches me and straddles my wounded body as he's falling backwards on top of the seats.

Even though he beat me to living Hell, again, I'm still smiling at him as if he'd given me a compliment.

"What?" He asks not too thrilled to see that I'm smiling, but he appears to be more confused than anything.

I'm shrugging at him as I'm keeping my gaze with his. "We're friends, right?" My voice sounds fragile and hesitant, but it's not bothering Hidan as he's grinning at me.

"Usually I don't make friends, because they're a bunch of bullshit... But with you, I'll make an exception. Friends it is, idiot." He messes up my hair, but I'm not bothered by it this time.

We stayed like that for several minutes until I had somehow fallen asleep. I only realized this when I had awoken in a room with the white haired male beside me.

I yawn while stretching my arms outwards and over my head. I'm attempting to stay quiet as I slither out of the platform bed that reminds me of my own, except that this bed is blood red with purple and white accents. It's a very strange room that's almost impossible for me to describe.

"What the fuck are you doing awake?"

I turn my head to see Hidan rubbing his face attempting to rid the sleeping dust from his eyes. I'm fixing my tie in front of the mirror even while I'm looking at him. I'm not answering him because I don't know what to say.

He yawns loudly and sort of aggressively as the bed creaks when he stands up. "Sasori asked to see you when you woke up, and since you're clearly awake get your ass moving." He pats my butt towards the door, making my face feel like a cayenne pepper, and shoves me out. "Wait," he says just before he smacks the back of my head. "See yah, idiot."

I'm rubbing the back of my head while I begin walking to Sasori's room. It seems like the strangest time that I realize that I'm not counting as much as I usually do. This place makes me feel safe, secure, and at the same time it feels like I'm being sucked dry of every ounce of energy I have, or sometimes my head spins as if there something is pressing down on me.

"Are you looking for me?"

My eyes dart up to see that I'm standing exactly in front of Sasori, who is staring down at me with his expression like stone.

"I heard you wanted to see me," I explain, and he nods his head before taking my hand into his. I no longer ask questions, and I'm simply following behind him only allowing myself to wonder what he wants.

"You got into another fight with Hidan," he states while we enter through the door to his bedroom. I'm fidgeting with my feet shifting back and forth and playing with the bottom of my shirt.

He seems to be waiting for me, and so I agree with him. "Yeah, it was a short one though." Then I'm screaming when Sasori jabs my stomach.

"Doesn't matter. You're hurt again. And you call him your friend." He pushes me onto the bed while he readies his supplies.

I can only wait and continue to make a conversation. "Maybe he does hit me a lot, but we watched a movie-"

"Watching a movie doesn't make someone your friend," he counters before I can even say anything else.

"I know that! But there's just something that I like about him." I wince when he puts his hand on my cheek, but then shock sets in when he leans close enough that his breath is touching my lips.

"That's not a good thing, Hisoka. You know what he is, what we all are." I'm not used to such close proximity, especially when a simple movement could bring us even closer. My breathing quickens even though I'm trying to control it.

He stays silently watching me as if he expects me to do something. We're like this for two minutes until he finally backs up, leaving me catching my breath, and gathers two pairs of bandages along with three clear bottles.

"Take off your shirt," he orders me, but I'm still dizzy from those couple of minutes being so close to him. Unlike the people I've met here, Sasori has a way of getting inside your head and messing with you. He never reveals what he's really planning, and it all scares me.

Not receiving a reply from me, he takes matters into his own hands and pulls me towards him so that I'm now standing. He's proceeding to unbutton my shirt while my body reacts by shivering. It's nowhere near the way I react to Hidan, and this feeling is unlike any I've ever felt.

Once my shirt is off along with the old bandages I finally see the extent of the bruising. My abdomen and sides have splotches that are almost black with bruising, and I feel the tears starting to leak from my eyes. It just hurts to look at the wounds, but I still don't blame Hidan. For some mysterious reason I cannot stay mad at him.

"You need to take better care of yourself," Sasori begins to lecture until he sees that I'm crying silently. "Don't start crying now. It'll get better and you'll be fine..." His voice sounds weak as if he doesn't even believe what he's saying.

Then his arms are wrapping around me protectively, and I'm burying my face against his thin clothing.

Finally, I've calmed down enough so that he can replace the bandages laced with a medicine that'll help the bruising.

Before he finishes, as I turn my head to look in another direction, I catch him staring at my neck. I can't say anything before he starts questioning me about how I got it. I don't even need to say a word before it dawns on him. "Hidan." My gaze shift tells him that's exactly how and who.

"Does this hurt?" He asks while applying pressure against the tender skin. My yelping is enough of an answer for him. "I'm sure I could make it feel better, but it may hurt a little." I don't even get to say anything before he's bringing his hand up to my neck, and then I feel something wet and cool glide over the injury.

Whatever he's doing it's not hurting, but half a minute in my neck feels like it's burning. "Ouch! Stop it, that-" I stop talking so that I can groan in agony. It's impossible to keep still, and so I'm falling on the bed along with Sasori.

"Hold still, or it'll get worse," he says to me with a soft scowl. It's like asking a ten-year-old to disable a bomb, it's just not happening.

I thrash around causing the pain to erupt, and it continues to become hotter with each jerk. "Hisoka! Stop jerking around and stay still!" His eyes capture mine, and I stop moving for ten seconds straight.

I'm attempting to hold still, with squirms here and there, despite the immense burning sensation on my neck still, but then it's over. The burning cools down leaving me to shiver as Sasori is standing up.

"Thanks for taking care of me." I smile even though I'm shivering, but I'll admit my neck doesn't hurt so much anymore.

Sasori shrugs his shoulders as he puts everything away. "I'm the only one qualified to, and I wouldn't need to if you'd stop getting into fights with Hidan."

"He starts it," I mumble while starting to pout.

"You remind me of a little child. Always into trouble, and you always have to be getting hurt." He sighs as if remembering something from his past, and I can tell it's not a very good one.

"Well, thanks again." He's looking at me as if he's imaging something. I say no more even while he's walking towards me.

"Why do you always smile?" His finger glides over my bottom lip as if touching them will tell him the answer.

"Because I can?" I'm not even sure why he's asking.

"But you have no reason to."

I shrug unsure if I'm saying the right things. "I have lots of reasons. You take care of me, and so I smile because I'm happy."

"Then why are you here?"

"What?" My eyes are widening at him as my heart tightens into a knot. Why is he saying all this?

"If you're happy you shouldn't be in a place like this. We're not happy people, not even Hidan or Deidara." His eyes are like a mirror; you look at them but you can only see yourself; you never know how he feels or what he's thinking.

I sharply avert my gaze not willing to look at him any longer. "You're saying I have to be miserable? That I can't show a smile once in a while?"

It's hard to believe that he's really showing so little emotion, and that once caring side of him he had showed is now gone like salt dissolving in water. "I'm saying that if you're not then you don't belong here."

My heart feels like it's being squeezed by two invisible forces, and my limbs are shaking more at the rise of emotions. I never want to hear that I do not belong somewhere, because that's how I've felt my entire life.

"Fine, if that's what you think, I'll leave." As I'm sliding off the bed I feel as though the whole world wants me to disappear. I plod towards the door, but when I open it the door slams shut.

"Did you really take me that seriously?" he asks as if the whole thing had been a test.

"Of course I did."

"So, you'd leave just because I said all those things?" His confusion makes me feel like I had missed something important.

"Especially because _you _said them. I can't help that it made me want to give up, that I believe you, and I don't belong here."

His fingers are caressing my chin, and that caring side of him is returning. "My opinion matters that much to you. Why?" I will not answer him even as he's waiting patiently.


	4. A Single Chance

_I'm sorry that it's been so long since I've posted. You know, school and personal life. But I'm back with three more chapters! Please let me know what you think. 3_

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He releases my face and stares at me, his patience vanishing, for one hundred and twenty-three seconds. "I hate waiting too long," he states with the sides of his mouth arching into a frown. It seems he figured out I'm not going to tell him anything more. Sasori points towards the door without another look in my direction.

I'm down the hall within a minute, staring at the wood boards that line the floor. Suddenly, I realize I'm counting them.

"45, 46, 47, 48..." The boards are easy enough to count since they are right after each other. "61, 62, 63..." I'm starting to think about Sasori, and that question of why he had asked me. "79, 80, 81, 82..." Usually I don't mind what a person says, but when he had said all those things I had wanted to disappear. "90, 91, 92, 93..." Maybe this place makes me never want to leave so much that hearing someone not wanting me here hurts. "102, 103, 1-"

Before I'm able to say one hundred four, something light green flies passed me. My eyes follow it to realize that it's a large moth with pale green wings and brown antennas that resemble a leaf. I follow the strange animal as the world behind me disappears.

I'm watching the moth so intently that I don't notice I'm outside until a breeze brings me back to my senses. "Wow," I exhale smoothly before checking my surroundings.

I realize I'm walking on a pebbled pathway that leads to what seems like a forest.

"What are you doing out here?"

At the sound of a deep voice I jump and spin around to see Hidan standing there with his arms crossed and leaning to his right side.

"I was following a moth. Why are you here?" I start to wonder if he was following me but that seems ridiculous.

"No reason," he says but it's hard to believe even with his straight face. Then the moth lands on his head, making me chuckle. "What?" I'm pointing to his head but gasp sharply when his hand lands over the moth.

My chest feels tight and my eyes water. He's laughing at me like there's something funny going on.

"Oh, stop being a crybaby. Have a look, dimwit." He opens his palm to reveal the moth intact and seeming happy as its wings are moving steadily.

"How'd you-" He laughs again making the moth flutter away.

"It's not worth killing something that's about to die soon anyways," he states nonchalantly, which makes me look at him puzzled. "Ah, that's right. You're an idiot." My cheeks puff out as I'm not happy with him calling me names. He only laughs once more.

"They call it a Luna Moth. It lives only one day. Fucked up, right?" I shrug my shoulders just thinking about what it'd be like to only be alive for one day. Hidan puts his hand on top of my head and bends enough that he's eye level to me.

"Yeah, it is," I comment while I'm glancing at him with a frown.

He sighs and lifts my head up with the hand that had been on top of my head. "Show a smile like you always do. Damn, you just get all sad because of a stupid insect." I have to admit he has a point, and so I decide to smile like usual. "There we go," he says grinning himself and takes my hand to lead me back towards the mansion.

"But I want to go there." I point back towards the forest, but when he doesn't stop I attempt to stop him by halting and yanking my hand from him.

Hidan turns towards me and glares vilely at me, like he's about to rip me to shreds. "Oh fucking well. Now stop being a spoiled brat and hurry it up. I don't have all fucking day." He misses my hand since I took three steps back and pulled my hand out of reach.

"Why not?" I counter trying not to be afraid, because Hidan does that to me a lot even though we're friends. He's giving me a smile when I thought he'd be really angry at me.

Instead of answering me, he takes the same amount of steps towards me and grabs my hair tightly. His grin is menacing, and I can't help thinking that he's about to hurt me.

"Go inside, up the stairs, then left, and it'll be at the end of the hall. If it's so fucking important." He releases me with his grin changing into a frown. I guess he just wants to see me scared.

"Thanks, Hidan," I say, which makes him stare at me. I can tell there will be no 'you're welcome' from him.

"Whatever. Move your ass." I nod my head and take a few steps until I'm walking beside him. He takes my hand in his while we're walking, but he doesn't glance at me.

He's such a strange guy that I don't think anyone will ever figure him out. Maybe he likes it that way; I'm pretty sure he does. However, for some reason, I feel like there's something subtle underneath all the malice.

"What the fuck are you looking at me for?" He snaps me away from my thoughts, and my face is probably red. It's making him chuckle. "You're cute."

The rest of the way I don't look at him, but once we're inside he makes me when he puts his fingers under my chin. Then he turns it towards the stairs. With that he's walking away, and I can't help that I'm watching him until he's gone.

I'm not sure what I'm going to be looking for, but I climb the new set of stairs following the directions Hidan had given me.

I hadn't realized the time until I found a clock while walking here. It's around ten o'clock at night.

Once I see the door I take a sigh of relief that I didn't get lost. Even while I'm slowly opening the door I'm nervous that I'll be caught. The room inside is dark, and so I extend my arms out searching for a light. The back of my hand finally hits a lamp, and I fumble with the switch until this section of the room is lit.

In front of me is a wood desk with more papers on top than I can possibly count. I don't know what I'm looking for, but I take a seat in the chair to begin sorting through the millions of papers.

Two and a half hours and three hundred seventy-six papers later, I've discovered that the Akatsuki is more than they appear to be.

Suddenly I hear the door opening and voices on the other side. Without anywhere to escape I shove a couple papers into my pocket and duck under the desk, holding my breath.

"Then, I will talk to you later," says the female voice that is unmistakably Konan. Her footsteps fade down the hallway while the door shuts and locks.

Another set of footsteps walk towards the desk, sounding louder in my ears, and then abruptly stops. Then the sound of papers scattering and some flying off the desk tells me that whoever is in here knows that someone was here. Does that mean I'm discovered?

I get my answer when the desk flies up and skids across the room to slam against the door.

My eyes dart upwards to be caught by Pein's swirling hues. "Hisoka..." I'm unsure if he said anything else, but his hands grab my arms to lift me up.

At first I'm thinking he'll just frisk me, discover the papers, and then throw me out of the room. Oh no.

With his hands still clutching my arms, he's shoving me against the wall opposite of where the desk had been. His opened palm slaps my cheek, making it sting and a single tear leak from my eye.

"What did you take, Hisoka?" he demands in a voice similar to Hidan's, except that Pein's voice is strangely calm. It makes you feel like you're dying very, very slowly.

Again he's slamming my back against the wall and whispering to me all the things he could do right now. All of these things have one thing in common: they all involve my death.

No matter how much he threatens me I keep my voice down my throat and my lips sealed.

"Why do you keep silent? You're obviously in pain, but you won't just tell me what you took." He releases my arms and I fall to the ground with my whole body numb from the pain. Could that be why his name is Pein?

He's kneeling down, his hand slithering behind my neck, and he leans me closer to him. His breath is surprisingly cold compared to those eyes that look like they can ignite something.

"I wanted to know what these were," I whimper while taking the papers out of my pocket even with my shaking hands.

He takes the papers and skims over them for thirteen seconds. Then he sighs and stares at me. "I'll tell you some day, but for now I'll give you a chance." His other hand rests on my left shoulder. "Most everyone here I give a job, and so I'll allow that you accompany one of the members here. The only condition is that you stay away from outsiders while you're out there."

My eyes widen and my mouth opens. "I'm going outside? Out there?" I point in a general direction not really caring about what direction it really is. Pein nods his head to confirm, and then he stands to his feet while helping me up as well.

Before showing me the way out he takes the papers back and tells me not to tell anyone about what I learned.

"Alright," I say to him, and as he closes the door I can see something in those eyes that I don't quite understand.


	5. Immortality

Since leaving Pein's office I've been wandering around with no set destination. It's late, I know this, but I really don't care about the time. My mind is still trying to wrap around the idea that I'm going outside this place back into the world. I'm not sure how to react; if I'm supposed to be excited, nervous, or fearful.

While walking down one of the hallways I come across a door. There's a strange clatter and some mumbling from inside, which draws my attention. Of course my curiosity gets the better of me, and I'm opening the door without giving much thought to what's behind it.

Inside I soon discover I've just entered Hidan's bedroom. Then I gasp accidently when I see that he's covered in blood, crouched over a chair, and three types of sharp objects scattered over the floor.

He notices me standing by the door and starts to chuckle before it transforms into an insane laugh. Blood trickles down his skin like sweat as he briskly strides towards me.

All I hear is the door locking and my own heavy breathing.

"I don't give a damn why you're here really, but since you are..." His hand seizes a handful of my hair and tugs it to the side, which causes me to stumble forward. Then his grip tightens before he jerks and hurls me towards the other side.

Somehow I'm able to hold in my screams as my fragile body smacks against the legs of the table. I honestly don't weigh that much or have a lot of muscle, so it surprises me when the table legs crack and the surface falls onto my back.

I'm able to push myself up on my hands and knees. "What happened to you?" I ask him, my eyes darting to look at Hidan, my head dizzy by the quick action.

His purple eyes stare at me in a mixture of puzzlement and shock. "This is all for Jashin, who grants me immortality." A huge, crazy grin stretches on his mouth as he catches my gaze.

By now I'm gaining the strength to stand on my legs despite how wobbly they are. "You can't die?" It's something that I've read in books, but never have I met someone claiming they are immortal.

"That's what I fucking said! Don't you listen?" He bends down to take one of the knives off the ground. It's relatively clean despite everything else around us. "This should be satisfying." He licks his lips and stares at me hungrily.

I instantly forget about the pain searing through my body as I'm now fighting to stay alive once again. He lunges at me with the knife aiming towards my stomach area. I'm able to catch his wrists to fend him off. Then I kick his knee hard enough that he staggers backwards.

My instincts tell me to run, but Hidan is blocking the door. I scramble towards a corner where I find something with a handle. When I pull it out I realize it's a three-bladed scythe.

"Put that down, right fucking now!" It seems he's very attached to this weapon, and I can understand why.

"Stop attacking me and I will!" I usually don't raise my voice, especially when I'm actually terrified of Hidan, but I also care about my life.

He grumbles a few incoherent curse words before he tosses the knife in some random direction. "Now put my damn scythe down before you fuck it up."

Instead of listening to him I hug it close to my body as if holding onto it would keep me alive. Right now I'm quite sure about that. He wouldn't risk breaking or even scratching his scythe.

He's walking closer to me, each step being half a second long, and after eight steps he's now standing right in front of me.

"Hisoka," he mumbles as if he's trying very hard to be nice, "give me my scythe." His hands reach out to grab my hand and the handle of the weapon.

Without much of a choice I let go of the scythe almost expecting him to stab me with it. He never does. Instead he takes his scythe across the room and hangs it on the wall.

My heart beats pass softer, and even though he could turn at any moment I stand up. "Stay," Hidan says unexpectedly. I'm only glad he's not going to kill me.

I'm so worn out that I lay down on the bed that I remember sleeping on before. As the days pass I begin to lose count of everything around me. I'm slowly losing my ability to concentrate, and after that I'm not sure what will become of me.

Then the weight of the bed shifts as Hidan sits next to me. "You fought back," he says not looking at me. I don't answer since it didn't sound like a question. "And you're still alive. All woman I've come into close contact with I've murdered."

My chest is tight as he's saying all of this. "I must be lucky," I whisper wanting to fall asleep, but as of now I'm too nervous.

He chuckles, and I'm seeing that soft side of him that is so rare to witness, especially from Hidan. "I believe Jashin has spared you." His eyes are closed as if he's silently praying.

I don't even know who Jashin is except that Hidan worships this deity and it probably has something to do with the necklace.

"What do you mean?" By now all I can think about is going to sleep, but in a way I don't want to give up the chance of spending time with a calmed Hidan.

His grin is charming even with the blood still covering his face and body. "Jashin is an unpredictable force, unlike any god." He lays down on his side so that he's watching me. His fingers trace my forehead and the bridge of my nose probably leaving a red trail, but I'm too tired to think about it.

"Alright. I trust you." I watch his eyes widen like they usually do when I say something strange.

"You trust a murderer? What kind of fucked up logic is that?" He's closer now so that I can feel his heaving chest press against mine each time he takes a steady breath.

There's nowhere else for me to look except into his eyes. "It's not logic... I guess it's because we're equal."

Even he has nowhere to look and cannot move. "It's hard to believe that such a sweet ass like you is capable of killing some shithead."

I heave a sigh of discontent as his foul mouth is now returning. "It's too long of a story to fit into one night, but yeah I'm-"

"A murderer," Hidan finishes with a laugh that's cruel, but then he smiles at me. "I'm delighted to hear that. And I thought Pein was wasting our time."

I want to ask him about everything he knows about what I had discovered several hours ago, but he's suddenly closer to me in a way that makes me feel like I'm blushing and makes me forget about what I had been thinking.

His arms circle around my waist, and I get caught up in the moment as I place mine on his muscled chest.

"Goodnight," I whisper to this silver haired man who's covered in blood.

I don't understand the concept of bonds between two people, but somewhere inside me there's a part that craves it. Maybe it's because I've been so lonely my entire life, especially after the death of my family, who weren't my family. Or it could be this twisted desire that attracts me to such a man who doesn't kill me because he finds more enjoyment in torturing me. I want to ask him, but maybe another time would be better.

Hidan's hand strokes my lower back, but it's not gentle like one would expect because it actually feels like he's scratching it. Either way it's soothing. Within two minutes I'm deep within sleep.

When I awake and open my eyes I see that I'm alone in the room. Right away I notice two major things. First, Hidan's not here, and second the room is completely clean of the blood. It actually looks normal.

Before I get off the bed I spot a piece of paper on the end table. The note says "won't be back soon" and then there is that symbol on the bottom.

I stuff the note in my pocket and exit the room to go back to my own so that I can change. However, I'm interrupted thanks to a sudden shove from behind.

"Ouch, you could at least say sorry," I mutter while turning around. At first I'm not sure who it is, but slowly it comes back to me. "Oh, Miss Konan. I'm sorry-"

"You shouldn't apologize for that. What matters is your presence here."

I'm puzzled by her words, but I have this heavy feeling that this is not going to end with smiles. "What's wrong?"

She folds her arms over her chest and glares at me as if I'm a young child. "I've seen you with Hidan quite often, and it's not something that should continue. He's a follower of Jashin who forbids any affection and only killing. If you wanted to establish a relationship with him it will surely fail. In this place you'll only be loved as a criminal." Then she walks off as if that conversation had never occurred.

I honestly don't know what to think or feel as I'm walking the rest of the way to my room. Once inside I shut the door and head straight for the bathroom.

My whole body feels numb as Konan's words echo through my brain.

I pull off my bottoms and slip off my shirt. I fumble with the bra strap for some reason until it finally comes off and lands on the ground. I'm sitting in the bathtub while the hot water is filling it up.

"Why is it bothering me so much?" I ask myself while staring at the smooth, pearl ceiling. I turn off the water once the bathtub is filled up enough.

As I'm completely lost in thought I hadn't even noticed someone had found their way in.

"Hisoka," says a voice that sounds too familiar. Then things start coming back to me like the fact that I'm nude in a bathtub.

I'm about to shriek when a hand is placed over my mouth. That's when I see that it's Sasori. "You weren't answering, so I wanted to check if you were still alive." He takes his hand away, and I smile at him.

"Thanks, Sasori. I'll be okay." He doesn't seem convinced, but he doesn't press either.

He stands up since he was kneeling and grabs a towel off the rack. "You should get out before you catch a cold." His eyes are still trained on me, which makes me really uncomfortable because it's not like I'm taking a bubble bath.

I eventually swallow my dignity and step out of the water. Sasori kindly wraps the towel around my body, but his fingers linger at the flap. At first I think he's some sort of pervert, but then I realize he's only waiting for me to take it. Once I do he lets go and walks out of the bathroom.

After fixing my hair and brushing my teeth, I walk into the bedroom to find Sasori sitting of the side of the bed facing away from me.

"Are you... hurt?" he asks while I'm searching for some clothes to wear.

"No, why do you ask?" At first he's hesitant to answer, but eventually he does.

"Hidan likes to knock you around a lot, and I can see you have some bruising on your cheek as well as your arms."

My heart skips a beat and I struggle for breath as I know that it wasn't Hidan who'd given me these bruises.

Sasori, ever so analytical, notices this right away and walks over to me in nine steps. "What are you not telling me?" He twirls me around so that I have no choice but to look up at him. His eyes reveal nothing of how he feels or what he's thinking.

"It-it's not Hidan."

"Then who?" Now he seems a bit confused as if he's just missed something.

"Don't worry about it." I try to laugh it off, but it comes out weak and unconvincing.

"Hisoka!" His hand grabs one of the bruises on my left arm roughly while making his voice sound like sizzling steel. It scares me on a different level than Hidan.

"Stop it, Sasori. That hurts," I'm whimpering while trying to hold back cries of agony.

"Then tell me what happened." He lets go of my arm and turns his back as if he's hiding himself from me.

I feel the towel slipping, but all I can think about is the words that just came from him. "Sasori, look at me." He doesn't at first, but slowly he turns to glance at me. His eyes reveal a conflict in his expression, like a war is going on inside him. I can only imagine how that must feel for him. "It was my fault that I got these, because I was somewhere I shouldn't have been."

Sasori reaches his hand out to twirl a strand of my hair around his finger. "It's my fault that I didn't protect you."

I want to say something to tell him that it's not his fault or he shouldn't worry, but I know it would mean nothing to him. Instead I hug him in comfort.

"You should cover yourself," he's whispering in my ear while his hands tug at the part of the towel that had slipped to reveal my lower back.

My shoulders bob as I start to chuckle. Sasori keeps his hands pressed on my back, and now he's taking a few steps backwards before he sits on my bed.

"Here, you need to rest." He pulls me down onto the bed, and he stands up walking over to the dresser. He hands me a pair of shorts and a sleeveless shirt. "I'll be in my room if you ever need me." His expression is like stone as he walks out the door.

I change into the clothes and lay on my bed. I'm smoothing out the area next to me almost wanting to run to Sasori's room and sleep with him. Instead I close my eyes to ease my mind, and then I fall asleep just like that.


	6. Nightmares

Deafening explosions and vulgar shrieks haunt my dreams while I lay in deep slumber. My vision is obscured as if I'm now waking up, but as I shift around to observe my surroundings I realize I'm not in the mansion. Instead I'm back home, or at least what I used to call home.

"Help me!" A young woman hollers with tears surging from her dreary blue eyes and coursing down her filthy cheeks. I'm able to see that her legs are wedged under a fallen tree. With each attempt she makes at freeing herself the bark grinds into the flesh, and I see that by now parts of bone is visible.

Once I avert my gaze into another direction, my vision now clear, there is pandemonium everywhere. Dead bodies litter the ground in piles and in chucks of flesh and bone. The living scramble across the fields and passed the burning houses, some even shoving others out of the way to save themselves.

Hands cover my mouth, and for a split second I'm terrified that the enemy has caught me. Then I make the discover that the hands are my own. I'm dismayed by what I am witnessing, and the tickle in the back of my throat warns me that I might spew. Somehow I'm able to keep myself together long enough to stand up and begin to run.

As I'm sprinting towards the buildings, I'm not sure why, I feel weightless as if my entire body has turned numb. However each of my senses is sharpened to the point that I am still able to hear that woman calling for help.

I arrive at one of the houses that the fire has yet to reach, and as I'm searching inside I recognize two of the bodies on the ground. My heart beats pass rapidly as I'm scuttling to the older man's side. The word _father_ flashes in my brain, and that's when I start to reminisce that these people are my parents

"Daddy? Mommy?" My voice sounds like a five-year-old, and it dawns on me that this must be a flashback. Now I'm in control of my own body, even if I'm only a child. I scramble to my feet still traumatized by the visions of my parents dead on the floor of our house.

My eyes then catch something glistening in a puddle of blood next to my mother. Another explosion knocks me to my hands and knees. I'm gradually stretching out my arm until my fingers curl around the object, dirtying my hand with cold, red liquid.

Before I unlock what appears to be a locket everything vanishes around me. I'm unsure of what's happening until I open my eyes to discover a sheet over my head.

My breathing reaches my ears as shallow breaths. My entire body is shaking as if I've just stepped out of a refrigerator. Instantly I kick off the sheets that are over my head and take in seven breaths.

The dream has me still in a daze, but I'm finally able to trudge out of bed and walk to the bathroom.

After a much needed freshening up, I shuffle out of the bathroom and pick out something to wear. I'm not even looking at what I pick out. The dream from last night continues to haunt me, and I'm losing focus on everything else.

Then the door slams open, and I'm twirling around just as he says, "Don't you look cute." Hidan is standing in the doorway with a cheeky grin.

I peak at my clothes to see that I'm wearing a denim skirt and tight fit, black shirt with a dripping red heart on the side. I'm really starting to wonder who buys these kinds of clothes.

Hidan breaks my train of thought by touching my face and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. For a moment he's leaning towards me, and my voice catches in my throat as I'm staring at him hesitantly.

"Did some prick hurt you? I'll kick his ass," he suddenly growls while swiping a finger over my bottom lip. I hadn't realized before that I'm bleeding.

I'm shaking my head both in disbelief and to answer his question. "It's probably nothing. I must have bumped into something..." I'm about to turn around to wash off my lip when he clasps his hand around my arm.

His purple eyes glower into mine as if he's a ghost coming back for revenge. "Stop fucking with me, Hisoka. Tell me what happened." I know he's being nice, but dumbly I shrug him away.

"I won't," I told him firmly forgetting that he isn't like other people. He'll kill me if he wants.

Just like that Hidan snatches my body, slams me near the bed so half my body is on top while the other half hangs off, and his hands press my shoulders down. He kneels on either side of me probably to make sure I won't struggle. Even if I do I doubt I'd be able to free myself from him. Hidan's much stronger than he seems, which is surprising.

"Bitch! Jashin will have your bloody corpse if you keep secrets from me," he hisses close to my face, and I'm able to see the rage in his eyes.

I'm reluctant at first, but I know that he will merrily slaughter and spill my blood if I continue to refuse.

"Last night... I had this dream..." I tell him the full story of everything that my dream was about, and after a few minutes telling him becomes easier. He allowed me to sit on the bed, with him sitting next to me, when I told him the story.

Hidan leans back against the wall while staring at me. For once he's not saying anything. I'm unsure if he's thinking or maybe he doesn't care.

By this time my lip is dry of blood, but it still tickles making me want to itch the scab. I take a staggering breath while he kneels down in front of me. In his hand is a rosary similar to his own. "This is for you," he tells me while he's putting the necklace over my head and around my neck.

I'm baffled that Hidan is actually giving me a gift, and I have been able to tell his religion is very important to him.

He's watching me while I twirl and play with the pendant on the end of the necklace. On my face is a giant smile that I swear if I smile more will tear my cheek apart.

"Does it really make you this happy?" His head is tilting to the side with an expression that I read as disgust, but I'm really not sure.

I clear my throat for no apparent reason and reply with, "Yeah... Thank you." I wish I could say more, but my mind goes blank.

His mouth hangs open ready to say something. Before he says anything I'm leaning down and pecking his cheek. I quickly sit back up, and even though I know there's a deep blush on my face I continue to toy with the rosary.

I don't want to even look up even though I can feel Hidan's eyes glaring holes into my skull. "Why the hell did you do that?" He exclaims as if I've slapped him across the face. Of course he wouldn't have cared, but his voice sounds exactly like that. It makes me feel smaller than I already am.

"Hey, I'm speaking here." His fingers are coiling around several strands of my hair, which is making me look up at him.

He starts to stand up, and I'm afraid he might hit me. Instead his lips press onto my left cheek, and the area now feels warm even when he leans away from me.

"W-why'd you do that?" I stutter while hiding my smile. I'm not denying I like it, but at the same time I'm reminded of what Konan had told me. Hidan doesn't love anyone, it's against his religion. That type of thinking instantly wipes the remains of the smile from my face.

I'm not looking at him, but I can feel his eyes watching me. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He bends down so that those eyes, darkened by the shadows, are staring up into mine.

At this moment his expression is so unbelievably harmless that it's difficult to keep telling myself that this man is a mass murderer who doesn't give a damn about other people's life.

"Hisoka..." He wants to say something, but he's not sure what he can say. It's like the words are battling in his mind, and no one is winning.

I decide to make up his mind. "Save it. We should go downstairs. Pein said that I'm allowed to go outside now." I'm smiling but it's halfhearted.

Hidan stands up straight and stares at me for more than a minute. "I'm taking you outside," he says to me, his expression dead for once.

Mine however lights up at the fact that of all people I'm going with Hidan. "This is awesome," I say in a small child's voice. I really don't care how I sound, and I forget all my worries.

Then I see Hidan's irritated expression. He wants to say something to me, it's written all over his face. It's surprising that he's not saying anything, because you usually can't get him to stop talking.

He's now approaching me with a sinister smile that makes even my blood run cold. I'm inadvertently backing up until I reach the wall. I'm not sure what else I could do, especially when my gaze is locked onto that smile.

His hands spread out against the wall on either side of my head, and he's leaning closer to my face. "He-He-Hidan, please don't hurt me," I whine pathetically even though I've received plenty of beatings from him before.

I had been really happy just a moment ago, but now I'm panicky of what he might do now. His smile widens maliciously and his body shifts closer to mine.

"What makes you think I'm going to hurt you?"


	7. Developing Relationships

_Sorry if you were expecting a little more, but don't fret because there is much, much more in store. _

_Thank you to all my loyal readers!_

* * *

His laughter is resonating in my ears as I'm shaking from underneath him. While he's raising his hand I flinch because I think he's going to slap me. Instead he's patting my head nicely.

"I'll never get tired of fucking with you," he laughs.

Even though he's laughing at me, like he always does, I breathe a sigh of relief that I've been spared. Hidan starts to twirl the rosary around my neck until we're interrupted by a polite knocking on the door.

I'm about to open it when Hidan stretches out his arm and swings the door open. He's not even moving when we both notice Pein, who is standing in front of us without a clear expression. I have no idea what he's thinking with Hidan still leaning over me.

I do catch his stare drift to the rosary around my neck, but if it bothers him he isn't saying anything. Instead he's clearing his throat and begins saying, "Hisoka will go with Sasori and Deidara." He's about to say more, but Hidan starts to shout about how he was the one who'd take me. I never thought he cares so much.

"Hidan, it's alright. Maybe next time." I'm not going to lie that I'm disappointed because I don't get to go with him, but I like Sasori too, and it'd be fun to get to know Deidara better.

He glowers at me, but when I smile at him in the sweetest way I can he seems to calm down.

Then Pein continues, "We need you and Kakuzu for a specific _job_." The way he says this and the look in his swirling eyes makes me not even want to ask what he means.

Hidan understands immediately, but he's reluctant to move. The two men stare at each other, and it's like watching a telepathic conversation.

After seventy-two seconds, Hidan breaks the stare and turns to me. "Watch yourself out there and don't fuck up." He chuckles, and then he bends down so he's at eye level with me.

"Okay," I sigh, but I'm still smiling.

Hidan's kissing my cheek makes it warm up again. Then he walks out leaving me with Pein.

"You two are becoming closer," he states, and I'm afraid he's going to scold me like Konan had. "I only ask that you make sure it does not interfere with your work."

I'm staring at him in disbelief that he _isn't_ scolding me. "You're not mad?" I take a single step forward without taking my gaze away from him.

His own gaze is soft, and I feel his hand on the back of my neck while he's twisting my hair. "Should I be mad?"

"I thought you would be." I tell him about what Konan had told me, but his expression doesn't change, only hardens.

"She has her reasons and ways of caring." It's hard to believe him, but I nod my head anyways.

"There's no reason I should stop you from developing a relationship. It would be pointless to stop it from happening." He takes his hand away and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I will warn you to be careful. As you know," he pauses and makes me look at him, "nobody is _normal_ here."

After that he's gone, leaving me motionless.

"Hisoka." I snap out of my daze to see Sasori staring at me dully. Once he sees that I'm paying attention to him, he motions towards my clothing. "It'd be a good idea to change."

I agree with him, then I search through the dresser for some better and more comfortable clothes. I change into black jeans and an ivory shirt that's lower in the back. While I fold over the collar I glimpse behind me to see that Sasori is gone. He must have became impatient and headed downstairs.

"Hey... wow. You sure know how to make those clothes look good," their voice has a grunt at the end of the sentence that sounds like _un_ or _hm_, I'm not sure which.

When I glimpse behind me this time I see it's Deidara, and I start to smile cheerfully. Out of everyone I've met, he's the one who is the nicest to me. I would include Sasori, but he has a way of carrying my mood into the black holes that invade his eyes. I heave a sigh at my own thoughts and continue to fumble with the collar, mostly the front ends.

"Let me help you, uhn," he says and stands in front of me to fix the collar. While he's doing this I take notice that he's probably only an inch taller than me.

Then there's his choice of clothing. Underneath a black, zipped up vest is a sleeveless fishnet shirt, both hanging above his formed abdomen. His tan capris hang off his hips, and that belt cannot be tight enough to hold them up.

"There you go."

The mirror reveals that Deidara had indeed fixed the collar to it looks folded but it's still comfortable. "Thank you, but should you really be revealing this much?" I tug at his vest in a vain attempt to cover the rest of his exposing skin.

His laugh is playful and it invokes a grin from me. "Don't worry about that, uhn." He rests his hand on top my head and moves his hand back and forth. I'm really enjoying the feeling, but the time comes when we have to join up with Sasori. Apparently he's finished with waiting.

"We're ready, Sasori-danna!" Deidara's grinning even while Sasori grumbles out the door.

"Danna?" I question, following next to the blonde as we're all walking up the gravel path away from the mansion.

He's nodding before explaining, "I sometimes add it to his name as a joke." He winks at me, and I want to ask him to explain it more, but I decide not to. It's better this way.

We've walked for fifty-two minutes and nineteen seconds (I was so bored that I automatically started to count), and finally we are at a train station. Once my eyes catch the sight of a bench, I almost lunge towards it.

Deidara chuckles while I happily sigh that my legs are finally able to rest after such a long journey. I hadn't realized it until now how much time I've been spending indoors. I'm usually accustomed to such great amounts of walking, but it goes to show that breaking a habit even for a day can ruin your routine.

The train arrives and that signals for me to stand back up. However, a horde of people suddenly bombards me and I'm being separated from the other two. I'm calling their names, but I hear no reply.

Just before the train doors close I'm being yanked inside and into someone's arms. My eyes are sealed shut, but now I'm opening them to see who is holding me. Thankfully it's Sasori, and when I look into his eyes I see a hint of worry flash across them.

As fast as it had appeared, it's now gone to leave behind a callous expression. "Try not to get lost." I'm quickly nodding my head until I'm almost dizzy, which at that point I feel hands on either side of my head.

"And don't make yourself dizzy... uhn!"

Both these guys feel like family to me, and I'm unable to stop myself from smiling so much.


	8. Running Away

Some time along the train ride I must have fallen asleep. When someone is shaking me awake I forget where I am and start to hit them.

"Hisoka! Stop hitting me, uhn!"

I'm opening up my eyes to see Deidara standing in front of me trying to grab at my wrists. I'm yawning just as he's caught my flailing limbs. "Where are we?"

"Almost there," I hear him say as he's walking away.

The sudden move is making me feel somewhat lonely, but the feeling does not last long when Sasori takes my hand. Now that kind of contact is making me jittery.

Sasori acts so gentle with me while Hidan is very rough. It's so unusual.

"Don't get lost."

Snapped away from my thoughts, I'm being led out of the train by Sasori's guiding hand and towards the city in front of us. However, we are not heading to the city. I am being led down a wide alley way with cracked, stone walls and crumbling pavement.

"Where are we going?" My nerves are starting to surface, and I can't stop my body from shaking.

This place makes me feel like we're being constantly followed. The alley only seems to stretch on longer. I'm losing sight of the ground, and I swear it's about to swallow me whole. I don't think there's even a sky above us right now as my attention is forced on the sounds of our footsteps bouncing off the crevices of the old stones. It really is terrifying.

"You don't need to know." Sasori doesn't seem as fazed by the sights and sounds as much as I am. That's probably because he's used to coming to places like this.

"Are you feeling alright? Hisoka? Hm?"

Deidara is walking beside me, his hand stretching out to pet my head. At this moment, as I'm glancing at the back of Sasori's head, I feel like a burden. I shouldn't be here. There's this fear brewing inside me that reminds me of what could happen if I continue to stay with them. It had happened to my past family, and it could happen to my new family.

I break free from Sasori, which is actually not hard as he had a loose grip on my hand. My voice catches but I'm not staying around to wait for it to say something.

I'm running away.

I'm running so fast that I'm unable to hear the male voices that I'm leaving behind. All I can hear is the ghostly moans of the wind as it zips passed me. Despite not having moved my legs in so long I can still run like a bat out of hell.

I wonder who came up with that saying.

Once I run out of energy I'm so far away that there's no way they could find me. I'm confident that I can at least hide out for a while until I can figure out what I'm going to do.

Just now is it occurring to me that I ran away. Ran away from Sasori, Deidara, the Akatsuki, and ultimately everyone else.

Something is telling me that I'm going to be in huge trouble if I'm caught.

Despite being in a weakened state, I manage to trudge onward. One thing that the streets have taught me is that you should never stay in the same place for long if you're being chased. Then again, how do I know they're still after me?

There's no use in arguing with myself.

Three hours later.

I'm still wandering around this new area. I haven't yet seen Sasori or Deidara. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Either way, I'm only glad that I'm not in their way anymore.

"What's a little girl like you doing out here?"

That voice.

It's like waiting for death. Chilly, menacing, and sneaky.

"Uh-uh-uh-"

I'm slowly shifting around to see a pale man with long black hair coursing down his shoulders. His eyes are dark and piercing, like a snake.

"Do you need a place to stay?"

Most people would be screaming and running, but I'm finished with running and who cares if I scream? Like the idiot I am I'm agreeing to follow this stranger.

I'm following behind the man only now thinking of asking his name, but he beats me to it.

"Call me Orochimaru."

"Hisoka."

His smile is chilling and makes me nervous to the point that I might turn as pale as Orochimaru. His arm sneaks around my shoulders, and he's pulling me closer to him.

I resist slightly, but it's enough to irritate him. He's grabbing my arms and pushing me against the jagged wall. I groan in agony as the sharp stones poke my back painfully.

"Don't-"

"Well, well, well, my little Hisoka has some fight in her."

I'm not his anything!

"Pervert! Get off!"

He slaps me.

My cheek tingles with thousands of little pricks as water builds in my eyes. Although I've been smacked by Hidan, this one hurts worse. I can't explain how, but I'm secretly wishing Hidan was here.

Orochimaru takes me off from the wall, and we're almost jogging down the rest of the alley. My eyes are glued to the ground as he's guiding me to some unknown location. Along the way I trip over a broken piece of concrete and fall into a small puddle that'd been left from a previous day's rain.

"Seems you'll need new clothes." His voice is perverted, and I'm sure it'll take a while until I'm in those new clothes. "We'll stay here for a while."

He opens the door and shoves me into the narrow doorway. I manage to regain my balance just before Orochimaru grabs me from behind. His fingers are disgusting as he attempts to take off my soiled clothes.

"I-I'll take it o-off myself!"

I scramble away from him and lock myself into the closest bathroom. I take fifty seconds to reflect on my situation. This is really all my fault. Maybe I should have stayed with- No! I'm in this mess, and I need to fix it somehow.

Before I start to strip out of my clothes, I make sure there's a towel. Thankfully I find one big enough to cover most of my body. I wrap it around myself after I have discarded my clothes.

"Hisoka!"

The voice causes me to almost lose my soul. I'm fumbling with the handle when the door suddenly opens and I'm falling into Orochimaru's outstretched arms.

I swear I had locked the door.

"I have a key to each lock in this house."

My jaw is dropping slowly as I realize I'm never going to sleep again. He laughs right here at my expression.

"I have important errands to run. Sasuke will keep you company for now."

As if by some magic, another male, maybe my age or younger, strolls up to us and simply stands there. Orochimaru is letting me go, but by the look on that hideous face he'll be back with a nasty plan.

Once he has left, the midnight haired male, who I'm guessing is Sasuke, snatches my wrist and leads me into a kitchen. No matter how hungry I am I snap away from his grasp.

"I'm tired of being led around all day! I ran away from my family, I'm being forced upon by some guy, and now I'm in a strange house with a guy I don't even know!"

I've finally snapped, and now I'm starting to cry. I hate when this happens, but sometimes things happen that are just too overwhelming.

"What's your name?" He asks, his voice almost dead.

The tone doesn't faze me, since I've been through enough that a deer could be playing a trumpet right now, and I wouldn't care.

"His-soka." My voice is trembling, but it doesn't matter.

"I'm Sasuke."

He doesn't say much else until there's suddenly a new weight on my shoulders. I glance to my sides to see that there's a thick blanket around me.

"He can be really nasty, but nothing bad will come to you."

I have a hard time believing that statement. Simply remembering the gaze in those snake-like eyes sends shivers down my spine.

"Wh-hy you say that?"

I'm unsure if I just say a smile.

"Because I'll make sure of it."

Why does he care? He doesn't know me or what I've been through. I could be a horrible person. Oh, yeah, I am.

"Are you hungry?"

I'm nodding my head and there it is again. That ghost of a smile. Suddenly, I want to see him smile. I think it'd look good on him, but not right now since I'm much too exhausted.

It's been five hours, thirty-one minutes, and seventeen seconds. Sasuke has made us both lunch and dinner, with a few snacks here and there. He's shown me around the small house with gross, faded yellow walls and a loft upstairs. His bedroom is across from Kabuto's room, who is a subordinate of Orochimaru's.

Now we're on the couch watching some random movie on the modest television screen. I'm slowly falling asleep, and Sasuke tugs me to lay my head down on his lap. I'm too tired to object.

Before I can completely zone out, the front door creaks eerily open, and the both of us know exactly who's returned.

"Well, it's nice to see that you two are getting along." He doesn't sound too happy about that. His eyes make contact with mine, and instantly I'm on high alert. "Hisoka, come with me."

I'm trembling horribly as the thoughts of what he could do to me flood into my mind. Still, I'm more worried of what he will do to me if I don't obey, and so I'm shifting off the couch. I'm taking nine steps towards him and a single one back when he leans closer to me.

Despite being wrapped up in this blanket, under his stony gaze I feel exposed.

His fingers have a death grip around my exposed wrist, but before he can take me away, Sasuke lands his hand over his.

"Have you gotten that attached to her?" He seems irate and about to take it out on Sasuke.

I'm about to say that he doesn't have to worry about me, but then he speaks up.

"I only think that she'll be better use when she's rested up and regains her energy."

Orochimaru actually takes the time to think about it, and then he agrees with Sasuke. He lets my wrist go, which is now throbbing in bruised pain, and retreats to the loft upstairs.

I know that Sasuke's just bidding me more time, but the thought of what will happen when that time's up frightens me.

"Does it hurt?"

His sudden worry startles me, but I recover in time to shake my head. However, I'm quickly made a liar when he pokes my wrist. I let out a sharp yelp and hideaway my wrist. I give him a glare, but I'm easily softened by that evasive smile.

We're in Sasuke's room, which is also my own, and I'm waiting for him to come back. He had left to wet a towel for my wrist.

There is a small brown spot forming, and my eyebrows knit in disgust. I don't want a bruise on my wrist, especially from someone as vile as Orochimaru.

"How did you meet Orochimaru?"

Sasuke startles me but the mention of that man quickly removes all such feelings.

"I was running away from my family, and we just happened upon each other. I was an idiot to come here."

Sasuke nods his head. "Yes, you were."

I agree with him agreeing. I'd hate for someone to say that it wasn't my fault. I don't need pity.

"Why did you run away?"

I'm not sure how to answer. There's no real logical reason why I left Sasori and Deidara. "I guess... I just... I was scared."

He waits for me to continue.

"I didn't want to be in their way and mess something up. I'm so used to being alone that I got scared when they brought me along."

I extend my wrist so that he can wrap the towel around it. He also reaches behind his back to reveal that he's gotten me a change of clothes. I'm so ecstatic that I almost change right there in front of him.

"Could you...?"

He gets the hint and turns around, covering his eyes for good measure. I'm quick to change into almost white shorts and a blue shirt with a full, upright collar.

"At least my clothes fit you."

I'm actually not surprised these are his clothes. Since it doesn't seem like there's a girl around here it'd be hard to image girl clothes popping up out of nowhere.

"And not too bad looking."

My face feels hot as I tug at different parts of the shirt and pants. They're actually very comfortable, and it feels kind of nice having a nice scent around me. Almost as if he's around me...

That's when I'm realizing that Sasuke really is hugging me!

I don't mind though.

I allow him to hug him all through the night. His arms make me feel safe, and the ugly thoughts from earlier have disappeared into the air. I don't want him to let go of me as I'm drifting off to sleep, and I want him to know.

"Don't let go of me."

With my back pressed against his chest, I'm unsure if he's heard me, but once I receive a reassuring squeeze I settle in for the night.


	9. Home

**A/N: **_It's been a long while. That's because I've been uncertain about the chapters I've been working on. I decided to finally finish chapter 9, and so here it is. Reviews are very much appreciated and really help me to continue writing.  
_

It has been almost five days since I have been here with Sasuke, Orochimaru, and Kabuto. Nothing much has changed. Orochimaru still tries to touch me like the pervert he's shown me, and it's unfortunate to say that he had gotten as far as getting the first layer of clothing off. Lucky for me Sasuke or Kabuto always interrupts him. Sasuke more often.

I have new clothes but all of them are for guys. I'm uncertain if that's because Orochimaru, who bought all these clothes, likes that particular preference or because it'd be more difficult to buy girl clothes. I'm actually comfortable in them and even like wearing the baggy shorts and cozy shirts.

The one thing that has happened these past few days that I'm not too happy about is the cutting of my hair. Kabuto had done a fairly good job, but the thing I dislike is that it's short. How short? Only the back of my hair touches the bottom of my neck. The sides only just pass the top of my ears, and my bangs are choppy and to the side. Sometimes I'll mess with it and make it spike up, but for the most part it's difficult to look at myself in the mirror.

It's Thursday today and Orochimaru is out of the house. Kabuto is still here most likely working on some plan to infiltrate the city. I have been told that their main goal is to gain more power by obtaining secrets that are under lock and key somewhere in the city. I haven't really listened to any of it since I'm very disinterested in what they're doing.

"Hisoka?"

I'm taking a glance up from my activities to see Sasuke standing behind me, his back is arching, and his hands are in his pockets.

"Yeah?"

He's walking around and now sitting in front of me. His hand is reaching out to take hold of the pendant around my neck.

"What's this?"

Honestly, I'm not feeling like sharing that story with even Sasuke. I'm guessing it might bring back memories that will make me more homesick than I already am. Alas, the look that Sasuke is giving me is making me want to speak.

"Hidan gave it to me. It's very precious to him, and so it's very precious to me too."

My voice is growing weaker with each word, and I'm biting my lower lip to hold back the emotions. Out of everyone I had left behind I miss Hidan the most. I'm not quite sure why since all he really did was tease me and smack me around. Even Sasuke couldn't understand when he had seen the formed bruises the other day.

"He's special to you, hm?"

His chuckling tells me that I'm blushing from his comment.

"Uh-huh." No matter what he has done he'll always be my special friend.

Sasuke is letting go of the pendant and takes my hands instead. He's lifting me up to my feet and leading me to the door. As we approach the front door it's taking me a while to figure out what's going on.

"No! Sasuke!" I hiss so that Kabuto can't hear me protesting.

"Don't you miss him?"

I'm not going to argue when his statement is true, but at the same time I can't bring myself to want to leave. I wriggle my fingers from his grasp and back up an inch.

"I'm sorry."

He's shaking his head and is putting his hand behind my head, messing with the strands of gray. I know he wants to help me, he tells me every day, but I'm always reluctant to go along with his plans. Maybe I don't like the idea of leaving Sasuke. After all, he's become somewhat of a brother to me. I've never had a sibling, but I feel really attached to him. It's not like how I feel towards Hidan, which I'm really not quite sure how I'm feeling. I want Sasuke to protect me, even if that sounds selfish of me, but he always lets me know that it's okay.

"Then I'll continue to protect you."

I'm looking at his finger as he lifts it to the center of my forehead and pokes the area between my eyes. It's not hurting, but I still pout like a child. He's chuckling at me as he takes my hands once again. We walk to our shared room and play some games on the game system. Hours pass by and without warning the door is pried open. Both of us snap our attention to the tall, white man. It's easy to feel the tension in the air as Sasuke is moving closer to me in case he has to fight.

"Hisoka, there's someone here I want you to meet."

Orochimaru grabs my arm roughly, which causes me to drop the controller. It lands with a loud crack just as Sasuke leaps to his feet and puts his hand on the man's arm. The man's expression is twisting in anger, and he lifts his other arm to knock Sasuke to the ground. I'm yelling out his name while I'm being dragged away and up to the loft. I continue throwing a fit and attempting to free myself, but I'm too small to do much except cause myself more pain. Finally I'm being let free only to see someone new.

I'm on the ground bringing down my black turtleneck with short sleeves, which had lifted from me struggling. Only the clearing of this new man's throat brings my attention to him. He's leaning down from his seat on a bed and places two fingers under my chin. The digits are warm and makes me oddly calm. He's not making any moves towards me, and I'm not feeling threatened by him. At least in this moment.

"Sit here."

He allows me to move on my own, and I sit next to him with my legs crossed on the bed. There are no words being exchanged between us. I busy myself by looking him over from his black hair that ends at the center of his back to his heavily black clothing, but I'm unable to see his eyes as they are hidden by his bangs. He appears to be old though, but I'm not exactly the youngest person around.

"The Akatsuki misses you."

That's the only thing he has to say to start me talking. I ask him who he is, how he knows about the Akatsuki, why he's here, and if anyone is going to come get me. He answers none of my questions. Not even when my eyes well up with tears as I fear the worst will he speak anything about it. I next resort to maybe beating it out of him. I'm usually not an abusive person unless I feel threatened. All I want is to know what is happening with the Akatsuki. Even though I abandoned them they'll always be the only true family I've ever had.

The man only allows me to punch him twice on the shoulder before his hands are gripping my wrists and he's restraining me.

"Let go of me!"

He's not saying anymore as he prevents me from hitting him, but he's not doing anything beyond that. This lasts only eleven minutes and twenty-eight seconds before my body exhausts and I'm let go of. I instantly fall onto the bed, breathing becoming difficult, and my whole body is quivering from the effort it takes to utter a breath. The man's stare is burning me up while he stands.

"I'm taking you back to the Akatsuki."

I'm not going back very quietly. The man is holding me up while I'm kicking and screaming down the steps. The commotion brings Sasuke out from the room we are sharing, and upon seeing us his expression shows that he's furious.

"What are you doing with her?" His voice is seething with protectiveness.

After listening to me call out to Sasuke he lets me go, but I can still feel his eyes on me right now. He's made up his mind that he's taking me back no matter what he has to do. Once I'm close enough to Sasuke I bury my face against his clothes and clench my fists onto his shirt.

"She's going back."

That's when Sasuke starts patting my back. "You're going home," he whispers next to my ear. He wants me to leave too, and although I know that's what would be best I still want to fight. Sasuke is my brother, and I'm not wanting to lose him. He must know this as he continues, "They really miss, Hisoka. If you ever come back to this city I'll find you."

"Really?" I inquire as he's nodding his head against mine.

He's right and truthfully I miss everyone. Even Kakuzu, who doesn't even like me.

I'm finally able to free my grasp from Sasuke's shirt. Now that I am calm and more willing, the man leads me out to his car after I say my last goodbye to Sasuke.

As I'm sitting in the seat next to the driver's side I can't push away the lingering question. In the back of my mind I'm wondering why Orochimaru is allowing this man to take me back to the Akatsuki. The ugly white man had made it perfectly clear that he wanted me for impure reasons. So why is he letting me go? I express my thoughts to the man who is driving.

"I worked out a deal. You're very valuable to the Akatsuki, especially with that special ability of yours."

My eyes widen in shock at the mention of my ability, which is in no way special. It's a curse that I am so unfortunate to have. This is why I'm not normal. There's not a single place I belong, and it's all because of this damn curse. I have no idea how I even acquired it. One day it just happened.

"What do you know?" I'm not sure that I want to know.

His eyes don't wander off the road for an instant as he answers, "You can't control it, and that's why you've been running."

Yes, I have been running. Even from the Akatsuki. I cannot live with knowing how many people I've hurt; how many of them I've slaughtered.

I know that he knows more, but he's not going to reveal just how much. Prying him for details will not get my what I want, and so the best course of action is to leave it alone. I already have enough to worry about, and I'm not about to allow this to become an issue.

So, I close my eyes, lean my head back, and I calm myself down so that I can fall asleep. Just before I'm sucked into another world where nothing is really as it seems, I think about what everyone will say or do when they see me again. Will they be mad? Maybe none of them will care. For now I'll allow my mind to rest and possibly I'll have a happier dream.


	10. First Day Hell

Unfortunately, my dreams are still being plagued by my past.

I'm walking down a street and pass the crowds of people heading in the opposite direction. As if someone were following me I glance behind my shoulder, but all I see is a house that I had been living in when I was nine. After viewing the house I turn my head and abruptly halt. Now I'm standing in front of a rusted door that's impossible to move with my strength, but I'm small enough to squeeze between the slight opening. I'm moving forward as if something is guiding me.

The first thing to hit me is the horrific stench of molding floorboards. Then I see that the room is practically bare except for a few stacks of rotting chairs and cracked tables. The only piece of 'art' in the whole room is the graffiti painted on the walls by the neighborhood goons.

Again my feet are walking until I'm stopping in front of another door. It is so old that by a single brush of my fingers it crumbles into pieces. With a quick glance upwards I can see that the door had been held up by a single rusted screw. I climb over the debris and spot a narrow stairwell.

Once down the steps my whole body shakes uncontrollably. The room makes me feel claustrophobic and nauseas. To either side of me are shelves with liquid vials lined up awkwardly along the boards. Each one is dusty, but I can still see what is inside of them. Ranging from cats to parrots each one of them is dead, but the freakiest part is their bones jutting out from almost every part of their body. Some have gashes in their stomachs where organs are hanging out covered with what appears to be rust. No sooner than I stop looking at them all that I vomit on the floor.

After regaining my balance, I see a desk with papers littering the entire surface. I'm not sure why but I search the papers to find answers. I find a book and when I open it there's several pages with strange drawings and words. As if I have looked at this book before I remember that it's about experiments attempting to enhance people with machinery. The first step had been to strengthen a human's bone with metal, most likely steel.

Since it is a dream, the book disappears from my hands only to be replaced by a very familiar small box. Even though I do not want to open it since I know that nothing good is going to come out of it, the box lid falls open before dissipating. Next thing in my palms is a little, black ball. It's heavier than it appears, but then something starts to stir within it. My hands begin to sting before a sharp burning sensation spreads through my whole body.

Although this is a dream I am still able to feel every ounce of pain as if this were happening all over again. My skin feels as if it's splitting open as the ball begins to merge with my hand.

After that everything is black, but it doesn't end there.

I'm now in my old house standing in front of my adoptive family. With a quick glance around I notice the blood coated walls before seeing my mother, father, and four sisters sprawled on the ground with slash marks covering their body.

My whole body swirls around to see a mirror standing behind me. I'm staring at my metal clawed fingers and the small metal attachments under my jaw and along my cheekbones, which are all smeared with crimson liquid.

The last thing I see is white.

Once the dream ends, I awake with a start and scream with all the air in my lungs. By time I can no longer breathe someone is beside me with their arms around my shoulders. My vision is much too obscured to see who is comforting me.

"Where am I?" I ask the person next to me once I steady my breathing, but my eyes still sting from the tears.

"You're back home," says a sweet voice that can only belong to one person.

With the little strength I do have I'm able to kneel in front of Deidara and hug him properly. Never did I believe I would have ever seen him again.

"It's okay now... hmm. What made you scream, hn?"

I'm not sure I want to tell him just yet, and he seems to understand this since he's patting my head reassuringly.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to... hm."

I give him another hug before letting go completely. With my vision clearly up I'm able to see my surroundings, but I do not recognize the room I'm in right now. The walls are white but there's plenty of posters. All of them have an explosion on them. I also see clay statues of birds and spiders resting on shelves or on the desk.

"Is this your room?" I guess while still scanning every inch of the room.

Deidara chuckles while nodding his head. His hand is making small circles behind my shoulder and it's starting to tickle.

"Don't do that," I giggle which only makes him attempt to tickle me more. Within a few moments we're in a tickling fight with him winning. "I-can't-breathe!" I'm laughing so hard that even when he does allow me to breathe it's hard to swallow the air.

We both sit up and take a single minute to relax. Then I ask Deidara where are the others. He tells me that Sasori will be back later tonight, Hidan and Kakuzu have been on a job for almost a week, Itachi (he explains this with a scowl) is somewhere in the mansion, and Pein is with Konan doing paperwork.

"Why are you here with me?"

He tells me that he had wanted to take care of me after I had been dropped off here by a dark haired person. Pein had previously taken me into his office to rest on the couch, but then Deidara begged- apparently- to watch over me in his room. I have only been here for around eleven hours sleeping.

"Thanks, Deidara."

"No worries, yeah!"

He really is a great guy who never fails to make me laugh.

Then he tells me I have to make up for running away from them. I'm reluctant but I ask him what I have to do. With a mocking laugh he tells me I have to help him with the chores, since neither of us are doing anything. I pretend to hate the idea and start to run around the room. Then I bolt out of the room while laughing. He eventually catches up to me downstairs and throws me over his shoulder.

"So not fair," I pout while sticking out my tongue despite the fact he's unable to see me.

He laughs while carrying me back up the stairs to get started on our chores.

With both of us working together all the chores were finished in record time.

Now we're sitting in the living room watching South Park. No one is home yet or if they are we have not heard them.

"Oh my gosh! They killed Kenny!" I shout when the little character in the orange parka is hit by a train.

"Those bastards."

I laugh when I hear Deidara say that. Coming from him that line sounds hilarious, especially since he's impersonating Kyle, the Jewish boy in the green hat.

Then the door opens and shuts. Both of us look in the direction of the front door to see Sasori. He stares at us with a crooked eyebrow, and that's when I realize we're grinning almost identically. Sasori walks towards us and glances at the television.

"Why would you watch such a show?"

I frown theatrically and mumble, "Not like I'm important."

Then Sasori's cool hand brushes under my short bangs as he's bending down to kiss the top of my head. He stays there for only three seconds, which makes me frown slightly. It was such a nice feeling, and surprisingly I miss it now.

"It's nice to have you back," he whispers before standing up straight.

For the next few hours we all hang out, and during that time I learn about Sasori and Deidara's bickering over whose art is better. Sasori believes that art should last forever while Deidara believes the opposite; that art has a larger impact if it only lasts for a short moment. They had tried to get me to choose a side, but of course that's impossible especially when I'm not an expert in art. The most art I have ever seen was graffiti when I used to live in the city. The thought makes me remember my dream, which reminds me of when and how I had obtained this curse.

"You don't know what you're talking about, brat."

"Damn it, Sasori! Art's boring if it lasts forever, yeah!"

I guess there's no reason for me to stick around here. I leave the living room to head towards my bedroom, which I'm able to still remember even after such a long time.

The memory of my past is weighing heavily on my mind as I'm walking to my bedroom. I'm not even aware of how late it is until I pass by a window. I take a minute to stare out the glass at the black sky. I remember before I was cursed when I used to have black hair, and my eyes weren't such a brilliant sapphire. They were more like a deep oceanic blue.

"There's better things to look at than outside."

Two arms sneak around my waist and pull me to his chest. Although I'm nervous to look at his face again, as my fingers reach up to twirl the pendant around my neck, I have been waiting to see him for such a long time. Every night all I could think about was being held by him again, even if he wouldn't want me around him. Even now I expect him to smack me senseless or pierce me with a knife.

"Hey‒"

Before I can finish greeting him, he spins me around and kisses my lips softly. Then he applies more pressure, and when I peek through my nearly closed eyes I can see his are wide open.

"Aaph!"

He lets my lips go as he stares at me after I had made that strange noise. Well excuse me for being surprised after he forced his tongue in my mouth.

"You like this."

He smirks aggressively while shoving me against the window. I groan as my head thumps on the glass, and then again when he snatches my lips once more. His hand slips under my loose shirt effortlessly while the other hand holds my wrists above my head. His mouth prevents me from protesting even though there's no reason to. He does what he wants and no one has a say in it.

"Hidan! Stop fucking your toy in the hallway."

Out of all people who could be saving- I guess- me it's actually Kakuzu. I'm very much certain that's only because he doesn't want to see it.

"Fine. Then I'll fuck her in my room."

"Whatever."

Wait! What just happened? I'm not quite sure despite how that situation just smacked me in the face.

"What are you going to do?"

Hidan's grinning this time as he brings down my wrists and struts towards his bedroom. Believe it or not I really have no experience in what those two were suggesting. All I know is that I'm very uncomfortable right now.

"Hidan, answer me!"

He scowls at me before tossing me into the room. His room has not changed since the last time I had been in here.

"I'm going to let you figure that out." His foot slams my back and his hand grips my hair. "Hm, your hair is too fucking short." He continues to tug at the strands until I cry out in pain.

It's only my first day back and already Hidan is tearing me apart. I don't understand why he has to always hurt me until I cry. Sasori does his best every time I shed even one tear to cheer me up, and today he kissed my head. That one moment had made me so happy, but Hidan just has to come along and ruin it. I'm never able to be happy for more than a few moments.

"Fuck you, Hidan. What about your precious Jashin?"

I'm actually in awe that he's not getting angry at my accusation. I know about his religion, but when I accuse him of sinning he's not even flinching. I find out why real quickly.

He leans close to my ear and hisses, "I guess I'll have to kill you then." His voice has never been this serious.

As it becomes harder to breathe, I slowly tilt my head up to see his expression.


	11. Indecisions and Broken Hearts

This chapter is dedicated to my most loyal reader **sasoismine** for reviewing almost every one of my chapters and loving every single one. Thank you ~

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My mind cannot form the words to describe this expression on Hidan's face. All I can say is that it makes my body freeze up like a stiff doll. A couple of tears clunk up in the corners of my eyes making me blink several times until they're streaming down my face.

Hidan loosens his grip on my hair only slightly before leading me towards his bed, where he lays the upper part of my body on top while the other half hangs off. I whimper quietly when I feel his lower extremities pressing against my thigh. There's nothing more I want than for him to get off of me, but he'll only ignore all my pleas.

He's bending over my body and that's when I feel his tongue teasing the bottom of my right ear. I'm so nervous that I forget my position and slam back into Hidan. My eyes widen when I hear him growl in delight and he pushes forward.

I screech in horror until his pale hand covers my bruised lips to shush me. There's no way out of this and he knows it. He's waiting for me to decide whether to continue fighting, wasting my energy, or give up and allow him to violate me.

My mind is in conflict with what to do, and soon enough the tears become uncontrollable. I snivel into the bed sheets, my fingers clutching the fabric for dear life, but I'm not registering that Hidan is moving until his fingers reach down to caress my wet cheek.

"Stop crying like a little bitch and come here."

There's no way I can come up with the proper words to describe this gentleness that Hidan reserves only for me.

Although I admit this could have been the time to escape, when Hidan presents this hidden side of his personality there's no way I can deny him.

I ease myself onto the bed and reach out until my arms are secure around his thin neck and resting on his broad shoulders. Before I'm able to extract any more of his tenderness, Hidan plies my wrists from around his neck and restrains them against the rough bedding. This bed used to be soft, but I guess he got a new one.

"This time," he begins whispering near my ear, "I'm not going to hold back."

I'm petrified by his words but at the same time all I want is to be close to him.

For a moment my wrists are freed, but I do not dare move in fear that Hidan might actually kill me this time. All I hear is rustling and clangs of steel. I shut my eyes so tightly that I see white for a moment.

"Open your damn eyes," I hear Hidan hiss before feeling cold steel kiss my cheek.

"Don't hurt me! Please! Nah‒" My eyes widen to maximum just before the sharp edge slices into my left cheek. It's not that painful but it's still making me cringe. The more I think about it the more it seems to hurt.

Then he pokes under my third rib with the blade and does the same to the skin there.

Is this what he's planning for the night? To torture me endlessly until I beg for my own death? I never thought you'd hurt the one you care for the most, but I guess this means Hidan really doesn't...

He jabs the side my thigh this time, driving the blade at least two inches into flesh. It's incredibly painful having to feel my skin tearing from each other, the muscle swelling, which releases more blood out of the small wound.

My body curls up like the time Hidan had beaten me up the first time we met. His fists pounding against my bones flash through my mind as my body rattles in synch with the memory.

Hidan never ceases to do the impossible. With his handy work apparently concluded, his lips capture my bruised ones as if begging for forgiveness.

Despite everything there's no way I can ever deny him. I'm somehow able to understand that he expresses his emotions in unusual ways, even if I'm still unsure how he truly feels. I'll be here for him to take his anger out on no matter how badly it hurts.

I'll always accept Hidan.

His mouth opens to welcome my timid, wavering tongue with unimaginable kindness. His tongue teaches mine, biting it lightly whenever it does something wrong, but at the same time easing me into this new feeling.

Finding some hidden confidence, I weave my fingers through his ashen wisps and lift my lower half higher on his leg. This action receives a relaxing grunt while his kissing intensifies further bruising my lips.

With his hands he bundles up the end of my baggy shirt and heaves it over my head. Then everything else stops.

His violet gaze stares down at the completely bare display underneath him, my hips hoisted up his leg, and short grey tresses sticking to my neck. A perverse smile spreads across his features, and he licks his cherry lips tastefully.

My whole body shakes violently when he pokes my breast with the tip of his nail.

"That's fucking bold of you not to wear a damn thing under that shirt."

Oh I know I'm blushing like mad since my face feels like a thousand degrees.

"He didn't want me to look like a girl!" My voice raises an octave higher than normal, which doesn't help my situation sounding like a spoiled little brat.

As if that conversation never had occurred, Hidan clamps his teeth on the side of my breast forcefully. The action causes me to yelp, but the twinge of pain subsides when he licks the bite mark warmly.

I'm clawing at his shirt unaware that my fingers are subconsciously taking it off until he shimmies out of it. Now I can fully see the compact muscles that had been hidden under his clothing. He catches my eyes on his body, but all he does is smirk while shaking me out of my pants.

"Ah! Whoa!" I'm only in surprise that I had not noticed what he had been doing until the cold air nipped at my exposed skin.

"Goddamn, Hisoka! You're so fucking skinny." He scowls at me spitefully, and it truly does petrify me in place.

How is this guy able to make me feel so amazing yet never fails to drag me down?

I'm really not that skinny as none of my bones are visible through my skin, but I'm not exactly perfect weight either.

Nevertheless, this ivory haired sadist - yes I will refer to him as a sadistic son of a bitch - continues to molest my body, driving his nails into the new injuries he has made, and making me shriek in an anomalous mixture of ecstasy and anguish.

My counting abilities have since dissolved and time seems to blend together. I'm uncertain of how long it has been, but I'm laying on the bed completely exhausted. He didn't penetrate me, he didn't have to, as his fingers were adept enough. Hidan's licking those fingers of the balmy liquid that I had somehow produced a minute ago.

"Hisoka," he calls soothingly.

I wipe the drool from the corner of my mouth, take a moment to stare at the damp pillow, and then glance at Hidan wearyingly.

"I won't let you be a selfish bitch. So you have to repay the favor."

I can really care less what he calls me, but at the same time I'm unsure of what he's talking about. He seems to get this message as his fingers grasp a handful of my hair and yanks me off the bed. Then he stands in front of me, in complete nude, and nudges my face closer to his bulging erection. I'm almost freaking out since I'm a total novice at this sort of thing, but once I catch a glimpse of murderous intent in Hidan's eyes I know that the least I can do is try.

Gradually I squeeze the base, lowering it towards my lips, and tediously allow only the tip to enter the tepid confines of my mouth. I can hear Hidan exhale pleasurably which encourages me to try more. Eventually I'm able to fit his entire erection into my mouth, half the tip prodding the back of my throat but only skirting lightly on the surface of my gag reflex. This is beginning to make me wonder if I even have one.

Hidan does little more than grunt and moan, but eventually his stamina wears down as he bucks forward, pushing the slit to the edge of my pipe way.

Once I'm unable to breathe I have to pull back. This gives me the chance to see the erotic and sultry expression on Hidan's red tinged face. Then a sound comes from him that I swear I thought would never come from such a man.

Hidan actually whines.

It's not until the foreskin of his slicked appendage rubs between my lips that I take him fully into my mouth again, burying my nose in his curly pubic hairs as I suck vigorously and slide the length of my tongue down the underside of his throbbing shaft.

A short time later, Hidan's hand tugs at the ends of my hairline until his erection pops out of my mouth. Then he ejaculates this gooey substance that slathers over my face while screaming more obscenities than I'm able to catch.

Hidan exhales as he bends down in front of me and strokes my cheek before leaning on his knees to kiss me.

Instead of kissing him, I draw back and stare at him with a frown.

"That's disgusting."

"What is?" he asks gently although I can see the annoyance in his expression. He's too satisfied to do anything about my defiance.

"You're tasting your own... stuff."

He cackles loudly at my statement, which make me glare at him intently. I don't like it when he laughs at me. His laughs always has this mockery strung into it, which can really annoy the hell out of someone.

"So?"

My eyes widen in repugnance that he really does not care that he's tasting it. Then again he did lick my own _stuff _off his fingers.

"Now get over here twit."

His lips capture mine and that's when I give into him. I catch him off guard when I pounce on him and push him to the ground. He seems to be liking this as his lower extremities press against my cool skin and his arms secure themselves around my small waist.

However, we both pull away from our intense kiss when the door snaps open. With less than a moment to spare, Hidan snatches the end of the blanket from his bed and it falls over the majority of our bodies.

I refuse to look up and face the person who has caught us in such a state. Instead, I bury my burning face beside Hidan's neck with my lips pressing against his shoulder.

"What's up, Itachi?"

At the name I lift my head up to see that raven haired man who I vaguely remember. He looks so much like Sasuke. His expression is even more unreadable.

"I apologize for interrupting."

Something in my mind tells me not to let him go. All I have time to do is wrap the blanket around me before I sprint after Itachi, leaving Hidan lying on the ground to fend against the chill alone.

"Wait!"

I'm actually astonished that Itachi stops and turns around to face me. As I come to a halt in front of him his mystifying atmosphere captivates me.

"What you do with Hidan is‒"

"Forget about that! I―I just..."

His hand raises up, and he pokes the center of my forehead with his finger. _Sasuke_.

"My brother took good care of you, but now you have to take care of yourself."

My mind goes blank while Itachi is walking away from me. So, Itachi and Sasuke are brothers.

Disappointment is clearly written all over my face as I stagger back to Hidan's room. When I enter through the door I see that he's already clothed. On his expression is a deep set frown. I'm reluctant to say anything to him in fear I might piss him off even more.

After slicking back some loose strands, Hidan spins around and walks towards me. He's not even reaching out to touch me like he normally does and fear is starting to rise in the pit of my stomach.

"See yah bitch."

Then he just walks out. There's no sugar coating it with details. Basically, he walked out with that statement and left me disheveled.

Maybe I'm a little heartbroken, but what more could I expect from someone like Hidan?

At the same time I wonder: _What's going to happen to me?_

Four and a half hours later, I'm cleaned up and dressed in a light blue polo and loose, white shorts.

I'm walking around barefoot searching for someone. My body is aching to the point that it's becoming difficult to walk. I have to wobble around while holding onto whatever happens to be close by so that I will not fall over.

When I attempt to walk down the stairs, my hand misses the railing and I brace myself for the agonizing fall. Instead, Sasori catches me by grabbing my midsection.

Barely taking a breath, I blurt out, "I've been searching everywhere for you. I need your help. Will you‒"

He cups a hand over my babbling mouth and nods his head. When he lowers his arm I cannot resist the urge to embrace him. Since Hidan has left me I feel more alone than usual, and it's eating at my insides awaiting the time it gets to eat my heart.

Sasori lifts me into his arms, which is probably a good thing. I may not have made it. The whole way to his room we're not speaking, but it's not awkward like I would have thought. His arms hold me gently as if he will break me if he squeezes any tighter.

Once we're in his room, Sasori sets me on his bed to treat my wounds. The whole time I can tell he wants to ask what had happened to me, and I'm debating how to tell him.

Sasori means so much to me, and for the whole time I have been here I feel like I have taken advantage of that. He takes the utmost care with me even though I'm constantly getting into fights with almost everyone here.

That's when I blink once, take two breaths, and confess what had happened between Hidan and me.

For the longest time it seems he's not going to say anything. He only continues to clean my injuries, his fingers brushing lightly over my delicate skin, and his hands tentatively stitching the skin together.

"Sasori," I whimper.

I want him to say something or maybe just look at me.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know."

Why does he have to know everything?

I fidget on the bed, which makes him stop what he's doing and stare up at me.

"I'll stab you if you keep moving."

That statement would have a totally different meaning if Hidan had said it, which just further proves how different the two of them are.

"I'm sorry."

I lower my head and stare at the stitches on my thigh. A few tears escape my eyes. I'm unsure what I should do next.

"Hisoka."

Once he finishes with the stitches, Sasori rests his hand on my head and scratches it lightly. I can tell he's nervous by his latent breathing. In one swift motion I pull him down and press my lips to his tenderly.

It's near impossible to collect my thoughts as he returns my kiss. Before I know it he's pushing my down so that my head now rests against the pillow. He releases my lips and smiles. His smile warms my cheeks and speeds up my heartbeat. He really does have the most amazing smile.

"May I sleep here?" I request shyly.

Sasori says nothing for the moment it takes him to cuddle next to me. We're not even bothering with the blanket since we have each other's warmth.

"You may."

It's a simple, nonchalant answer. That's what I really like about Sasori.

Why is it still so difficult to choose between these two guys? Hidan has left me. Sasori is here to comfort me now. I could continue but I'm so exhausted.

So, I guess these questions will have to wait, because for now I'm happy just to have Sasori by my side, stroking the back of my head, and waiting for me to fall asleep first.

Just before I fall asleep his lips press against my forehead, and he whispers affectionately, "Goodnight, Hisoka."


	12. The Calming Effect

"Hisoka! Hey, are you okay?"

My attention snaps towards the sound of Konan's voice. Her normally stern voice is full of concern. She is resting her hand back down after having been waving it up and down in front of my face. I know because this is not the first time I have zoned out during a lesson.

It's been nearly six months since Hidan had walked out of my life. I've long since discarded the pendant he had given me, because the more he had ignored me the harder it had become to look at the trinket around my neck.

The only contact we have is when we pass each other in the hall. He'll make a snide remark about my appearance or curse me out. He has called me bitch one hundred and forty-seven times. I'm not even sure why I had counted.

"Would you like to stop for today?"

Konan has been kind to me since then. She's almost like an older sister if I had wanted one.

Three times a week we'll sit down together in the kitchen and study anything she feels like teaching me. The best lesson is when she's teaching me origami, and although I'm still really bad at it, I have the most fun learning something that Konan likes teaching so much. Today I'm too distracted to remember what she's been trying to teach me for the past hour.

Pein had decided that I should occupy my time with learning, having somehow known I had only passed fifth grade, and that was only because I had been living in the school.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

I'm kindly shaking my head while smiling at the same time.

"I'll be okay."

Konan allows herself to smile in response for a brief moment as she collects the books and opens the door for me. I walk out silently with my head bowing until my chin is only a few centimeters from my chest.

I must really be in a despondent mood to be continuing like this as I shuffle my feet over the wood floors. I'm undecided about where I would like to go.

I do know I'm not in the mood to lounge around in my bedroom nor do I have the interest to watch television. However, I do walk into the living room and plop down on the comfortable couch. I reach out, snatch a pillow, and place it between my bent knees and under my chin.

A minute later, Sasori makes himself known by clearing his throat. My eyes calmly wander towards him as he's lingering in the doorway.

In the end I have chosen Sasori.

The decision I have made is a difficult one to explain, but I can easily say that Sasori is all that I need.

"Konan told me you were distracted today."

He still has an impatience problem as he welcomes himself into the room and stands in front of my curled up form. It's quaint that he tries to express more patience around me since he knows it takes me awhile to answer or react.

"Yeah."

He's tangling my snow-white hair around his fingers delicately. That's because he knows how much I'm fond of it.

My hair is now fully white and the hues of my eyes have been described as neon blue. I'm clueless as to this change, which has been going on since the transformation more years ago than I can count. I'm simply ageless.

"What is bothering you?"

He never ceases to care deeply about me, even if that sort of concern does not show up on his nearly callous expression.

"I don't know."

My fingers squeeze my legs closer to my chest, and I let go of a dismal sigh.

Sasori lets go of my hair and now he's tugging at my arms. When I glance up at him all I see the determination in his eyes. It's best not to ask since he'll only tell me that I'll see once I follow him.

I allow the pillow to drop to the ground as Sasori takes my hand and leads me outside. I have been outside before, but it has always been with either Pein or Konan. This is the first time that Sasori is taking me back out since that time I had ran away from him.

My voice bobs in my throat wanting to speak up, but I only continue to swallow it down. There will be no gains if I ask him. I'm sure I'll find out soon enough.

Eventually we do stop, having walked to the side of the mansion, and Sasori pulls me down to rest on the prickly grass. While I'm trying to get comfortable he points towards the sky, and when I focus on what he's pointing at I completely forget about the earth below.

The full moon is a beautiful shade of ivory. Even though it's always this color there just seems to be this calming effect that it brings.

"Now watch," he whispers close to my ear even though we're completely alone.

I hear a high pitch sound that is followed by a loud bang. Then there's bright colors in the sky. One after the other they fill the sky with intricate details and several different colors. I'll remind myself to thank Deidara later.

For now I take my eyes off the fireworks to gaze at Sasori's shut lids. He always seems so peaceful whenever his eyes are closed like this. Since neither of his arms are around me he's unaware that I'm looming over him until he does open his eyes.

Before I allow him any time to register what I'm going to do, I fill the space between our lips and kiss him thankfully.

Never does Sasori ever disappoint whenever he cheers me up.

After the show we part towards our separate rooms, which are on opposite sides of the hall.

I'm about half way to my room, which is now farther since Pein had moved me into a room farther away from Hidan, but that does not prevent us from crossing paths. Of all nights it is this particular night he decides to block my way and speak to me without all the hounding.

"Why did you stop smiling?"

That's such an obvious question, but I will not tell him it's because of him. That will only cause me more distress.

"I'm talking here," he barks and slams his right hand to the wall to further block my path.

"Please... stop."

My hushed voice is quivering with each syllable I attempt to speak. I divert my eyes to the ground seeming to become fascinated with the grains in each board.

When I hear him growl I'm almost certain I'm done for.

"You're such an annoying brat. I'm shocked your still wondering why I left your sorry ass."

His words pierce me more thoroughly than any real knife can. As much as I want to cry I know that I cannot allow Hidan to see that he's winning. He still has this control over me even after six months.

With his left hand he pushes me to the wall, and instinctively my arms raise over my chest, my fists clenched tightly in fear.

"Look at me!"

He's not raising his voice too loudly, probably so that he won't attract attention towards us. If this were to happen I would be safe, but Hidan would surely be pissed off and might actually kill me.

Out of fear I listen to him and lift my chin so that I'm staring at his face. There's no way I'll look him in the eyes unless he makes me.

"Your eyes are brighter, and your hair is longer."

This is actually the first time he's taken any notice in either of these aspects. My hair has the ability to grow fast, but I always keep it just passed my shoulders. If I did not do that then it could possibly be to my hips.

Usually, he'll always mock my boyish outfit or how skinny I am. Most of the time he'll just shoot me a mocking glare. It's more painful than listening to him call me a bitch.

Then I realize his face is approaching mine slowly, and I'm freaking out at the thought of him possibly kissing me.

"Get away from me!"

The strength and pitch of my voice startles Hidan. Instead of backing off, he clenches his free hand around my throat to the point I'm feebly gasping for air.

I swear he's going to kill me.

My vision is just beginning to fade when his grip loosens. Now I can see there is an arm between us, and I glance to my right to see Sasori. This is the most anger I have ever seen in his normally composed expression. His gaze is locked onto Hidan in an intense sneer. His other arm sneaks around my shoulders and tugs me closer to him. He is resting his chin on my shoulder while sneering.

I'm nervously licking my lips terrified of what might happen between the two.

Sasori is the first to speak.

"What were you planning on doing to her?"

Hidan's lips curl into his usual taunt smile, which still does not cease to send shivers up my spine.

"Why would you protect a little whore like this?"

Sasori's sneer is short lived, but still he presses me firmly to him. He's very protective of me even after I had told him what had occurred between Hidan and myself.

"Shut up."

Hidan shrugs his shoulders, but at least the smile on his face is gone. Just the fact that he's not smiling anymore is enough to bring me certain relief.

"Whatever. All I wanted was to tease her a little."

That's such a lie. Having once been very close to him I can tell when he's lying. He has this habit of biting the inside of his cheek just before he tells a lie.

"Get out of here."

Hidan's reluctant to leave for the simple reason that Sasori tells him to, but eventually he gives in and walks away.

Without any hesitation, Sasori inquires if Hidan had done anything to hurt me.

Despite the man's spiteful words he did little more than squeeze my neck.

In response, I hug him around the waist and nuzzle my face between the fabric of his long coat and black shirt. He accepts my hug for a couple minutes before taking my hands into his.

"Come stay in my room."

That's not a request.

Of course I follow Sasori to his room. I'm not sure why I don't just move in with him since he's always bringing me here. Sometimes when I'm having a particularly bad day I'll come in here, lay on the bed, and tell him about what is bothering me. By the end of the talk I'm already asleep, which I don't realize until I wake up beside him.

We end up sitting on Sasori's bed, his back against the pillow and my back leaning against his chest.

It's relaxing to be held by him and not expect much more than to simply be here.

He's usually expressionless and insensible towards everyone here, but for some reason he shows me what he's hiding. It's alright if it's not always written plainly on his face, because his eyes are actually filled with his emotions. All I have to do is look long enough.

"I want to give you something."

He lets go of me only to reach over and open the first drawer. He quickly finds what he's looking for, but I'm unable to see thanks to him covering my eyes with his free hand.

"Hold out your left hand."

I do as I'm told and feel something slide down the finger next to the smallest finger. Once Sasori lifts his hand I can see a silver band around my finger.

For a while I stare at it unsure of what it means. I can only remember that the woman in the four families I had used to live with a very long time ago had worn something similar. Unable to figure out what it is I decide to ask Sasori.

He chuckles at my inexperience but kisses my temple to show that it's alright. He's become accustomed to my naïveté with most things.

"It's to display our bond. As long as you wear it Hidan will not attack you."

I highly doubt that, but the bond part of it sounds exceptional. I twist around so that I'm kneeling in front of him and kiss his lips gratefully. He's been able to completely turn this day around for me. There's not enough synonyms to describe how happy I am to be with Sasori.

Soon enough we become lost in the kiss and time is forgotten.

His fingers glide up my backside, which sends prickles through my skin everywhere he touches. At the same time he's laying me down and hovers over me without breaking our connection. We continue from there until we have drained each other of all the passion we can give.

I'm easing into sleep while laying next to Sasori, my hand resting on his bare chest, while he's combing his hand through my hair. Each slip against my neck prevents me from fully falling to sleep, but it's an enjoyable sensation that I'm all too happy to let happen.

For a moment I glance at the ring on my finger. It seems a bit silly to wear something to symbolize your bond with another person, but the more that I look between the ring and Sasori, his eyes shut and face muscles lax, the more my heart thumps. Maybe it's not as inane as I believe. Perhaps there is something about seeing this ring that makes something that can only be felt seem a little more tangible.


	13. When I was Young

Upon waking up this morning, Deidara barges into Sasori's room to wake us up. He's frantically babbling something about a swirly mask and downstairs. I'm still half asleep so none of which he is saying concerns me. I swat away his hands that are attempting to pull us both out of bed, and eventually Sasori smacks him on the head.

When we discover he's not going to leave we both reluctantly follow him downstairs. I'm still in the clothes from yesterday, but somehow Sasori has managed to change into cleaner clothing.

In the main entrance way stands Pein, Konan, and a man in a swirly mask. So this must be who Deidara had mentioned.

There's something about him that I swear I recognize, but I have never seen this guy before. I do believe I would have remembered someone like him.

"Hisoka, could you stay here?"

Pein gestures for the other two to leave.

Sasori positions his hand on my shoulder, which makes me think he's going to stay, but he only leans down to kiss the top of my head. Then he obeys Pein's order and leaves with Deidara. The last thing I hear from them is about art.

I'm really uncomfortable as my gaze shifts between the three faces in front of me. I have no idea why I'm the only one needed.

"Hello! It's so nice to meet you!"

The masked man leaps forward and catches my hands. He seems really goofy to me, which makes me even more unnerved, and his voice is unusually high pitched.

"Um, and you are?"

"This is Tobi. You two will be going on a delivery job at the end of the week."

Konan is quiet the whole time. I'm not sure if that's bad or good.

"We're going to have so much fun!"

Tobi swings around and hugs around my waist. This of course freaks me out, and I yelp while attempting to pull him off me.

"You better not do that. She's taken."

Both of us stare at Pein. Why is it that everyone knows everything around here?

Then I feel my left hand lifting towards Tobi's mask. He seems to be staring at the ring.

"Tell me! Tell me! Is it the red head?"

That's sort of an obvious question as he should have seen Sasori kiss me. Maybe he thinks we're related.

"Yeah. His name is Sasori."

I swear Tobi's grinning behind that mask.

"Hisoka, show Tobi around, and then later I want you to come to my office."

I nod my head even though I'm a little reluctant to show this bubbly guy around this place that I have only lived in for over six months.

Konan finally speaks up just before she leaves to follow Pein.

"And afterwards we can have our lesson."

After they leave, I wriggle free of Tobi and watch him clap his hands excitedly.

"Hurry! Show me around."

I have no idea how he has so much energy, but I guess it'll make this a little less boring.

"Kitchen... living room..."

I point to each room as we walk through this huge mansion. Actually, I find it quite enjoyable to have someone with such positive energy hanging around. I'm really smiling as his curiosity causes him to get into trouble with the people around here. I think Kakuzu is still chasing us down because Tobi had broken a very expensive piece of art in his room. He has also collected enough dust to make him look like a walking dust cloud from searching around in a storage room for hidden treasures.

"That's it, I guess. I have to go meet up with Pein."

Tobi nods his head and declares, "I'm going to look for Deidara!" With that said he sprints off in search of the blond artist.

I guess I had been wrong about Tobi. He's not that bad to be around. Maybe he needs to cut down on the sugar, but at least he makes me laugh.

Before I even reach Pein's office, he meets me half way in the hall.

"What do you want to talk about?" I ask while taking a seat on the couch.

Pein sits at his desk and picks up a pen. All I can see on his desk is a few scattered papers.

"You."

"Excuse me?"

"I have only a few pages on who you are, as you've discovered a while ago."

Yes, those papers that he had almost killed me over. I still remember what had been written on them.

The Akatsuki is an organization that among many other shady businesses has the job of tracking down potential mystics, or humans with exceptional abilities. They're after rare beasts that contain within them secrets that could possibly be used to control the world. That's why I had freaked out when I learned that piece of information. He also has these files on everyone who lives here.

Sasori is a master of poisons, weapons, and puppets. He has this ability to control nearly a hundred puppets at one time.

Deidara, as can be assumed, has a way with explosives. He used to be a bomber if I remember correctly.

Hidan is a follower of the Jashinist religion, which gives him immortality. The most frightening thing about him is the fact that he's able to share the pain of others. It's worse than I make it sound.

Kakuzu also has a sense of immortality. His heart is able to regenerate five times.

Pein is able to duplicate himself into what he calls 'paths'. He's also able to manipulate the gravity around him, which I have had the unfortunate pleasure to witness. It's not a good feeling you get when you see someone crush the ground around you while you imagine that the same thing could possibly happen to you.

Anyway.

Konan's origami art is not just for show. She can make it practically come alive. I'll admit I have received plenty of paper cuts.

Then there's someone who I have yet to meet. His name is Zetsu. He has a close attachment to plants that allows him to basically teleport through the ground. It sounds really cool to me, but Pein had told me he's not one to mess around with. He'll eat me if I give him the chance.

The only file he has on me is very short. Included are facts about when I was born my family town had been burned down. When an older woman found me, she took care of me and raised me until our town was raided by a large group of bandits. After that I made my way to the city, living on the streets until a few other families picked me up. The majority of the time I spent living on the streets or in public buildings.

"Well what do you want to know?"

He raps the pen on the table making the most annoying noise. My hands cover my ears but does nothing to calm the noise. I being pleading for the tapping to stop, but Pein's not listening to me. Actually, he seems to be watching my discomfort. His lips are moving, but I'm not able to hear him because I'm trying to drown out the other sounds.

Once the pen stops hitting the desk I uncover my ears.

"Tell me about your ability."

I glower at him as if I'd tell him after he was making those aggravating sounds.

"I don't want to."

He lifts the pen.

"Okay! I'll tell!"

I frown in contrast to his smirking face. I tell him first of my dream, relating it to what had happened. Then I add, "Every time someone would approach me on the street I would freak out. All I saw was a white flash, and when my vision came back I saw red all around me. I have murdered so many people." I don't even want to mention the amount. "It's all because of this stupid curse. It grows claws and clings to my body."

I curl up on the couch fighting back tears at the remembrance of my life.

"Why have you not killed anyone here?"

It's a fair question that I had been asking myself since I have been here, but I do have the answer now.

"This place makes me feel safe."

There's a two minute silence when he attempts to conceal his surprise towards my ability to be comfortable here among murderers. Then he clears his throat as the remains of his limited emotions recede.

"Tell me more about your family."

I have no family, but I'm smart enough to understand he wants to know about my adoptive ones.

"Um, well," I fidget with my pants, stretching the hem around my waist, "the first one was Mobley. I killed them. I didn't even know it until I opened my eyes to see their bleeding corpses."

Not wanting to continue with the agonizing memory, I continue onto the few others.

"The second one was Kurocho. They were able to home school me on their own, but I refused to really _learn_ anything from them. I ran away after they refused to feed me anymore. While exploring the streets I kind of... killed multiple people. Well, I didn't..."

It's becoming hard to really remember that it had in fact been me and myself alone that had killed random people who had decided to get too close to me. The more uncomfortable that person made me the more likely I would flip out and attack them without realizing it.

As I continue to tell him about some of the murders, I begin to have an out of body experience. I feel like I'm actually writing my actions and thoughts while listening to this person, who looks exactly like myself, share horrendous stories about grotesque and antagonizing murders of the innocent and the guilty.

It feels like being a soldier during the Vietnam war. I'm not quite sure it's actually happening as my mind is numbingly on high alert. Anything I hear I want to automatically shoot, even if the target of my bullet would be a comrade. All I can think about is my own safety, no matter how selfish that is I had learned early on that selfishness is a natural human trait.

"My last attempt at a 'family' had been when I considered myself to be sixteen. The Terra family had been the closest one to providing me with a true family. A lovely mom, a studious father, a protective older brother, and an adorable baby girl. All within my grasp."

It looks like I'm reluctant to share any more than that.

"Did you kill them too?" Pein asks trying to get me to continue, but his voice void of any judgment.

"Close."

I'm not continuing despite my outside mind trying to push the words out itself. I actually want to pour out my experiences, which have been bottled up inside me for more years than I care to count.

"Why not?"

Pein must be the most patient person here.

"The baby."

Her cherry red, pudgy face flashes before my eyes as if I'm staring down at her right now. Her eyes are closed in light slumber; eyelids twitching now and then. Her small fingers curl on either side of her head and her legs are stretched yet bent. She looks like the most delicate thing in the world, maybe even rivaling the Hope Diamond.

I bring down my nails to my thigh and start scratching the skin. I'm gentle at first, but as I continue to recall this point in my life, I start scratching with a vengeance.

"What scared you?"

I guess it's no surprise that Pein can understand what sets me off after listening and observing me since I had arrived here possibly over seven months ago.

"Big brother was saying stupid things. He didn't want me to touch her because I was foreign. I was diseased. But she was so... serene, innocent, and I just wanted to protect her too. Then he "

My right hand flutters over my chest until it comes to a rest around my neck. I can recall the hand that had been around this neck similarly to how Hidan used to hold it when he was being aggressive.

"What happened?"

This is beginning to feel like a therapy session. A very much belated session that might have saved millions while destroying my inner demon.

"I nearly passed out."

There's more to this story, and Pein is waiting for my follow up. I give in quickly.

"That's when I saw myself."

I'm not sure if it's because I'm insane or if this happens to everyone, but I can literally feel my emotions fading as if my very heart was melting in between my ribs. My eyes are probably hollow because that's how I feel right now.

"The metal bubbling through my pores like blood before solidifying against my cold skin. The claws were like extensions of my fingers. Despite the howling pleads of big brother, my hand rose above my head ready to strike." Pause. "Then I hear the baby cry with all her little might. I see black, and when I wake up I'm outside in a snow drift about to be frozen to death."

My body shakes convulsively at the remembrance of how terrified and cold I had felt at the time.

There's a blanket around my seconds later, and Pein is sitting at the end of my feet trying to warm me up by rubbing my exposed ankle. I appreciate his tenderness as I wrap myself up in the wool blanket.

"Where did you go?"

He's brought along his notebook, which must be nearly filled up with everything I'm telling him.

"I didn't really _go_ anywhere other than where my conscious took me. With money I found on the streets I was able to buy a few supplies to carry around like a nomad. I'd find a few generous people who would feed me for free or lodge me in for the night. As I became a young adult that became more difficult."

I pause for a deep breath, which I forgot about in my story.

"Only perverted old men wanted a woman around. I was no longer that cute, seemingly innocent child. I developed this fear of people touching me. I'd twitch or whine each time my arm or leg was bumped accidentally. It got to the point that I'd scream and run if someone deliberately touched me, either to move me aside or ask for directions or something like that."

Pein's comfort is very much welcomed as he waves his hand for me to come sit beside me. I comply immediately, as if on cue, and snuggle next to him like he's family. At least I can steal his warmth.

"How did you afford that apartment?"

He's referring to the apartment I had been living in for quite a while. That's where I had received the invitation to come here. A couple days before I had accidentally killed a man who dared to touch me after I had given him a warning. No matter who it had been I freaked out every time. I had retreated to my apartment thinking about the embroidered invitation that'd been left at my doorstep listing my crime. I had already been freaking out when my landlord came by for a reason I didn't have time to find out before I accidentally killed her.

"I used to have a job as a dishwasher at the diner across from my complex. It was enough to keep rent up, and I was allowed to eat at the diner for breakfast and dinner."

Now that I think about it, the so-called life I used to have didn't seem so bad after reflecting. I was reasonably fed, had a place to live, and the kind old lady on the second floor gave me clothes she'd picked up from Good Will. I'm relieved that I hadn't accidentally killed her.

We're both sitting here in silence. I'm even able to hear the shallow thumping of Pein's heart.

_Bum_.

_Bum_.

_Bump_.

_Bum_.

_Bum_.

_Bump_.

The rhythm is almost enough to lull me to sleep, but a sudden question brings me awake.

"Do you love him?"

Yes, this question is quite capable of waking me up.

"Love? Sasori?"

He's not giving me any clarification about what he means. He only stares off into a seemingly random direction.

"I don't know what that means."

I feel like such a prude towards love. All I know is that Sasori means much to me but so do most of the others here. This includes Pein too, who is like my guardian. Is that the same as love?

"I don't think he does either."

Pein's hand lifts up apparently on its own accord and rests on top of my head to make smooth circles with my hair.

He continues by saying, "What started your counting habit?"

It's something that I find no significance in answering, but because he wants to know so badly I'll say something.

"People are chaotic and impulsive. Counting everything makes me feel a little bit safer knowing that I can at least control how many steps there are to a certain location, the number of people in a given setting, the amount of breaths it takes to breathe, and so on."

I'm safe here now, and so there's no reason to control my surroundings. Pein seems to know at least this as he asks no more questions regarding my strange habits.

"You're a brilliant survivalist," he compliments.

It makes me happy to be recognized for something good that I can do.

"At least it's something to make up for the lack of a human being I am."

He nods his head before standing up and returning to his desk. After a few seconds of furious writing, Pein waves his hand to the door. I understand what he means without having to clarify.

I'm about to take off the blanket when he says, "Take it." I do as I'm told and keep the blanket snug around my slightly shivering body.

Once out of his office, I suddenly realize how exhausted I am. As if I'm sleep walking I make it to my room almost on instinct with half lidded eyes. I step into the empty room and crash down on the bed. What seems like a minute goes by before I drift off into a deep slumber.

When I awake it's to an unfamiliar bouncing on my bed. I peel my eyes apart and scrape away the crust that has formed in the corners.

"Hisoka is up!"

This is surely an unusual morning. I never thought I would be waking up to an energetic guy jumping next to my slightly wake form.

"Why are you here?"

I stretch my stomach out on the bed before sitting up while Tobi plops down in front of me.

"I wanted to hang out with Hisoka!" He takes my hands for a brief moment before I yank them away from him.

The mask prevents me from seeing his expression, but by the way his shoulders are sagging he feels rejected.

"You have to let me change first." I chuckle while I pinch the fabric of my clothes between my fingers. I never really manage to change into any type of sleep wear since I'm always passing out.

Tobi perks right back up and bounces out of my room to give me some privacy.

I'm quick to change into a black stripped, long-sleeved shirt and beige, thigh-length shorts. Just in case we happen to go outside I slip on a pair of white, one inch heels.

I exit my room to be greeted by a sharp whistle. My cheeks feel lukewarm as my gaze sets on Tobi's orange mask.

"Ready to go?" My voice is rushed as all I want to do is draw attention away from my outfit and ultimately myself.

Tobi's hand snatches mine as we make our way down the hallway. Then I remember something that I certainly do not want to forget.

"Give me a minute."

I let go of Tobi's hand and jog towards Sasori's room. My fist doesn't even make it to the door before the red head is in front of me with his ghost smile there to greet me. He welcomes me inside, but I decline since I'm only stopping by for a short time, but I'm going to make this time count.

Now that he's right in front of me, the words that I want so dearly to say are stuck in my throat.

I bring my arms around his neck to pull him down to meet my awaiting lips. Every time we kiss it's like a calming effect, and the world around me seems to sort out to become more functional and organized. It's a world that I can live in when I'm with Sasori, but when our sweet kiss ends I'm thrust back into the world of disarray.

His face is soft as he brushes his hand over my forehead and swiftly kisses the skin. My own fingers slightly tangle in his auburn hair.

How does he know just how to treat me?

Before we part completely, I stare up into his eyes, purse my lips in anticipation, and finally my throat releases the words I want to tell him.

"I love you."

I'm sorry that I don't know what that means, but I do know that those words somehow have a deep meaning. I don't know if he's supposed to say it back, but I'm perfectly fine with just being able to tell him.

As I retreat back towards where I had left Tobi, I glance behind my shoulder to witness Sasori touching his chest. I'm about to retrace my steps in fear that I must have offended him, but then I see him smile delightfully. It's enough to make me smile brightly as I feel like I have done a good thing.

"Why so happy, Hisoka?" Tobi questions when I come back with a frivolous smile on my face.

"It's natural to be this happy when around someone you love, right?"

He stares at me for a few seconds, and although he's wearing a mask it feels like he's gawking at me.

"Hmm," he ponders for a while as we approach the front door. "I guess you're right. I'll have to tell Deidara that!"

I cannot help to begin laughing at that statement.

"You may want to bring an army of firefighters when you do."

Deidara just seems like the type to strangle someone like Tobi.

"Where are we going?" I inquire as we leave the mansion behind us and head towards the train station.

Tobi's smiling behind his mask, I just know it.

"The city is much more fun than this old place."

Tobi does make a valid point, but the closer we head towards the train station the more anxious I become. Before long I'm counting the number of train tracks in front of me and the number of breaths Tobi is taking to stay alive. Too bad I'm not able to count my own life expectancy, or I would have known how short of time I have to live.


	14. It Never Ends

It's been a very, very long time, but this story has finally come to an end! In two more chapters : D Thank you to every person who has read this story and kept up with it. I appreciate all the reviews!

* * *

After the train ride, Tobi leads the way into the city. This is the first time I have been inside this city.

People are everywhere either looking at the shops, walking to their set destination, or chatting with each other. It's such a lovely atmosphere, but at the same time much too congested. I have forgotten how crowded and unsettling the city can be.

I feel a hand squeeze mine and when I glance I see that Tobi is standing next to me closely. It will be terrible if we are separated from each other in this polluted jungle.

"Have you ever been here?"

I'm shaking my head in response while glancing around the place some more.

There are people everywhere, and one cannot walk more than two steps without encountering at least one person.

I step closer to Tobi and hold his hand with both of mine. I can tell he's smiling at me from behind his mask.

"So, where is Hisoka from?" He seems excited to be making small talk.

"Um, a very small town far from any city. It was burned down a long, long time ago though."

"Tobi sorry!" He's frowning, I know this somehow.

"It's fine, Tobi," I reassure him and count the seven seconds until he speaks again.

"Tobi hungry! Let's go eat!"

And thus begins our adventure through the large city.

By the time we get back to the mansion I'm completely worn out. Not only did Tobi wear me out but the noise and liveliness of the city beat at my defense. I think after a while I might become accustomed to it.

Tobi had to carry me on his back since I could hardly make it back to the train.

"Tobi, I'm sleepy," I whisper as I feel my body becoming lighter.

I fall asleep before I can hear Tobi's response.

When I wake up I don't recognize my surroundings. It takes three seconds to realize I'm laying on a concrete floor. There's hooks along the wall, mostly bare, and the only light filtering into the room is from under the steel door.

"Tobi?" I grumble as I manage to sit myself up.

There's a crick in my neck, shoulders, and lower back. I'm sure when I stand up there will be even more.

I hear nothing for thirteen seconds until there's a sudden slam of a door. It makes me nearly jolt out of my skin.

I'm confused, lost, and terrified that this might not actually be a dream.

Then the light is partially blocked by something.

I scurry into a corner just as the door creaks open with a terrible shrill. I cover my ears unable to bear the sound.

When I lift my eyes to see who was about to enter, my jaw nearly drops to the floor.

Standing there in a grey high-collared, short-sleeved shirt and long, black hair is Sasuke.

If he's shocked to see me then he doesn't show it. Instead, his expression is completely deadpan. It's as if all the light that I had once seen in those onyx eyes somehow vanished. He wasn't Sasuke anymore.

I'm the first to speak.

"Where am I? Where's Tobi?"

My legs are pinned to my chest and my arms are tightly wrapped around them. I'm pretty much speaking from behind my knees.

"He is no longer Tobi here."

"Where is here?" My tone is rising, but it doesn't faze Sasuke.

"I can't tell you that."

"Why am I here?"

He steps towards me, leaving the door cracked open slightly, and bends down in front of me. I can see his calm, lifeless eyes searching my wild, frantic ones.

"Madara wouldn't tell me."

Does that mean he asked?

No. I don't care. This isn't Sasuke. The Sasuke I used to know would have grabbed me and ran out of this place just to make sure I'm safe.

"Who's Madara?"

"The man you thought was Tobi."

I don't want to hear anymore. There's too many facts that I can't piece together. And I still can't figure out why I'm here.

His hands suddenly rest on my arms, but I violently push him off.

"I should never have trusted you!"

I didn't mean to yell, but it doesn't seem to matter. His expression stays indifferent.

"You're right; you shouldn't have," he agrees.

I duck my head down so I don't have to see him, but he persists in touching my arm. He's saying something, but it's drowned out by this ringing in my ears.

"Go away!"

There's a brief white light, and then I can see the new expression on his face.

His eyes have slightly widened, his lips are parted, and his body is completely still. And for good reason.

It's times like these that I really hate. No matter who I'm dealing with.

Metal spikes have taken over my hand and part of my arm, and one of them has grazed against Sasuke's cheek causing a small cut that is bleeding.

Before either of us can say or do anything, a new set of footsteps approach and enter.

Tobi is standing there but differently. He's not smiling or goofing off. But I can tell he's staring right at me.

"So that's what Orochimaru made."

His voice is deeper, and I instantly know this can't be Tobi. So... Sasuke didn't lie to me.

"Orochi..." I begin to remember the creepy man who'd taken me captive such a long time ago.

"Yes, you remember then?"

I nod my head slowly just as Sasuke stands up with his eyes trained on the other man. I don't know why, but I reach out and grab Sasuke's pant leg. However, instead of comfort, he kicks me off. Granted he was gentle.

"Will you leave us to chat, Sasuke?"

He bows his head and leaves the room without even a glance back.

"I've been keeping an eye on you for quite some time."

His strides are long and proud as he approaches and kneels in front of me. His hand strokes the steel that encases my arm as he inspects it.

"Impressive. Although I could do a better job, but the fact that someone can control it..."

This time he's inspecting me, his hand cupping my chin, which I reluctantly pull away from. He's not joking around as he uses his fingers to grip my chin roughly and turn my head at several angles.

Finally, I find my voice and ask him what he's talking about.

"You discovered this power instead of inheriting it, remember? That object must have been created by someone who wasn't afraid of sacrificing others to make it work," he pauses to make sure I'm understanding. "Unfortunately, it proved to be more of a killer than a helper. Orochimaru abandoned the project. Then you came along and survived the process that had killed so many others."

This power... This _thing_ had killed others? Orochimaru knew. He knew that I had that power. Then why did he let me go?

Apparently, I had asked that question aloud as the man who was once Tobi answered.

"I made him a deal."

That man with the long, black hair.

"What deal?"

"I would make sure the Akatsuki wouldn't try to get you back, thus ruining all my plans, and eventually I would obtain you again. However, there's somewhat of a problem in that deal."

I know he'll tell me, and so I don't even say anything.

"Orochimaru won't be around to collect."

He's dead? For some reason I let myself smile at the thought that I wouldn't have his snake hand all over me or his slit eyes undressing me without that touch.

"Good to see you're happy about that. As am I."

I realize the smile and bite my lip to make it go away.

"What do you want then?"

He's smiling but not in a very nice way.

"I want to test you out."


	15. Susanoo

Would it be surprising to know that it's been ten months since I was taken in by Madara and Sasuke?

The last I heard the Akatsuki split up after their failed ultimate mission. I never knew what it was and honestly I don't care to know. Some of them were even killed, but the emotion of loss seemed to have disappeared.

Madara placed me in several trials, and at first I allowed my powers to do their job of protecting me, but with some coaching from Madara I managed to gain a great deal of control over it.

At first I hated Sasuke for changing, but he's grown on me once more. He doesn't care as much, but he still keeps me company and tends to me after a particularly tough training session.

Today it's raining; it's a Wednesday. I have nothing to do today since Madara and Sasuke have left.

I can't say I'm unhappy. Actually, I'm quite comfortable in my new setting. It's strange to say but Madara is like a father, and Sasuke's like a brother. It's a small, happy family.

Then I feel something furry squirm under my jacket, and at first I freak out, but then I settle down once Susanoo pops his head out.

Oh, Susanoo is my white ferret. I found him injured several months ago while taking a walk with Sasuke. I begged him to save him, and Sasuke gently took the poor ferret and bandaged him up. Then we took him back home where Sasuke helped me nurse him. To my excitement, and Sasuke's amazement, the ferret pulled through and made a full recovery. I named him Susanoo after Sasuke's ability that Madara is very intrigued by.

"Hey there. It's nice outside, right?"

Susanoo squeaks as if he's agreeing with me. For some reason I enjoy the rain more than the sunshine. It could be that you can blend into the rain and become completely invisible. Although, I doubt a totally white ferret could blend in such rain. Maybe a snow storm instead.

Suddenly, Susanoo squiggles out of my jacket, falls onto my lap, and then bounces to the floor running off.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

As I chase him across the mostly empty room, I halt in front of a slightly cracked mirror. I stare at my almost light gray eyes with a stream of blue across the top of the pupil. My hair grew out quickly to its current length at the bottom of my ribs and has turned almost completely white aside from a single streak of gray.

Susanoo squeaks and I follow the sound to the front door. This is where I find Sasuke, soaked, and without Madara.

"Madara will be late. Hungry?"

He holds up a bag just as I nod. As he makes his way to the table that is practically used for everything, he takes off his wet shirt and jacket. For a moment I think he's going to completely strip, which doesn't bother me, but he seems to think twice about it.

"Go ahead and eat."

Then he leaves to probably change into dry clothes.

Instead of eating, I pick up his wet clothes and hang them up above a basin that'll catch the dripping water. I chuckle when a few drops hit Susanoo's tiny head and he shakes it off.

"You didn't start eating?" Sasuke questions when he reenters the room.

"I didn't want to eat without you," I answer as I sit down and wait for him to give me my portion.

Then we eat in silence having mini conversations in our head. I know he's doing the same when I catch his glances at me. I do the same when I'm trying to think of what he would say.

I'm surprised when he actually starts up a conversation.

"Do you like it?"

I finish chewing my sweet and sour chicken before answering, "It's delicious."

He shakes his head, although it seems more at himself. "I meant, do you like it here?"

I'm sure he's remembering how I'd freak out each time he'd touch me or when I started to scream when he tried talking instead. He still has that cut, now scar, on his cheek, and there's another one on his shoulder.

"Yeah," I tell him simply.

It took quite some time before I would let him even speak a couple words. With a few short conversations I let him inch closer until he could sit next to me.

"Your strength is impressive," he compliments although his tone doesn't sound very convincing.

I shrug at this remark and respond, "Madara is more impressed with you."

We both know this to be true. If Madara ever thought of pairing us off against each other there's no doubt in my mind that Sasuke would win.

The conversation seems to die off with that, and soon enough we both finish with our meal. Susanoo also finishes his portion and decides to play with my hair. Sasuke watches us before throwing the plates away and storing the rest for Madara.

"Hisoka?"

I perk my head up in surprise when Sasuke looks at me with a battle in those onyx eyes.

"Huh?"

"You're dying."

His words don't carry the kind of weight that I think they're supposed to.

"Huh?" I repeat.

"The reason your appearance changes. The more you use your power the closer you get to death."

I sigh because I know this already. Not only have I trained my body long ago to know everything that's wrong with it, but Madara had told me six weeks ago. I guess he forgot to tell Sasuke that.

"It's okay, Sasuke..." It's weird using his name sometimes. "I'm not afraid of death."

I don't want to admit to him that it would be a welcomed relief. I honestly wouldn't mind simply vanishing into the ground. My life can't get better nor worse. In that sense I have no more reasons to live, and I would have no regrets.

"But..."

Then I realize he doesn't want me to die. He wants me to live for his own selfish reasons: just to see me every day, to sit next to silently, to watch me train. It makes me smile to know that he does care.

"Are you still cold?" I ask when I see him shiver.

He doesn't seem to notice that he allowed himself to be read, but given the situation he nods.

I stand up, take his hand, and lead him to his room. I remember the nights when I slept close to him in fear that Orochimaru would take me in the middle of the night or do something equally horrific to Sasuke. So, I stayed with him to protect him and myself.

He's stiff next to my curled up form, but gradually he relaxes and pulls me closer. He finally lets go of that anger for this brief period, and we both fall asleep, Susanoo laying in a tight ball above our heads.


	16. December Storm

The final chapter!

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Before every great storm there are warning signs. Most of them go unnoticed, and the disaster cannot be avoided. The only thing left to do is prepare for the absolute worse. Sometimes that's impossible.

Sasuke started to smile during the next few weeks, which didn't go unnoticed by Madara, but somehow in our mutual happiness, both Sasuke and I missed it.

I participated less in training, going out more with Sasuke and Susanoo on walks, or I didn't use my powers as often. Again Madara noticed this, but he just nodded and allowed us to have our fun.

It's these times of reflection that I wished I had seen those signs. The ones that warned me the end was nearer than I expected.

December is a cold month around here, even though it doesn't snow. During cold nights I sneak into Sasuke's room where he lies awake waiting for me to curl up next to him. Even Susanoo has anticipated it. I'm not sure if it's his namesake that draws him to Sasuke or the fact that it was Sasuke who saved him.

It was one of these nights that Madara barged into the room and woke us. He was almost gleeful to announce a special training. Apparently it would only involve me though, and Sasuke had to pick up a few things in a far away town.

I asked Sasuke to take Susanoo with him so that the little ferret could explore the world a little bit. Once the two left, Madara led me in the opposite direction to a temple structure.

I begin to wonder how long this building has been here. Next time I go on a walk with Sasuke we should check this place out more.

I'm led into the temple where it's warm and well-lit, but my thoughts are interrupted when Madara knocks me away with a powerful kick to the stomach.

It takes several deep breaths to recover from such a blow.

"What are you doing?" I ask between gasps of air.

"Getting rid of a problem," he answers as if it should be obvious.

He kicks high in the air, which I block by crossing an arm over the other. I don't understand why he would use a move that could easily be countered and leaves himself wide open. Instead of striking, I push him back and take several steps away from him.

"Why? Did I do something wrong?"

He does the same, but this time he spins so that the foot in the air lands on the ground just as the other one prepares to slam into my side.

I know these moves as my own, and so I can move out of the way by dropping to the ground, then quickly pushing myself back to my feet.

"You're curing Sasuke," he answers as if that's a bad thing.

His fist feints an uppercut while the other swings in for a solid punch to the jaw, but I block that with my arm and the feint with the palm of my other hand.

"By making him happier?"

"Why do you ask so many questions? Can't you understand anything without it being spelled out for you?"

He continues with a barge of simple kicks, flips, and punches, which are all of my own design. I don't fight back and instead I protect myself.

"I don't want to fight you!"

Then he manages to grab my hair and toss me into a column with impressive strength. My back slams against the pillar, and I squirm in pain on the ground. Within seconds, Madara is at my side, and again he tosses me across the temple into another column. I bruise my back, stomach, chest, and leg.

By the time he stops tossing me around I can barely move or breathe. However, all that training that I was put through taught me never to give up.

Right when steel encases my arms and my fingers turn to long, sharp, metal claws I know I won't win this match.

I just hope that Sasuke can forgive me.

Madara is impervious to direct attacks, and so I settle with range moves. Unfortunately, Madara knows just about all my moves from watching me train. Everything I do he's seen. He already had a strategy months ago. The most I can do is drag this out until one of us eventually falls or Madara decides not to get rid of me.

Only one of those happens.

Even though my attacks are being avoided, Madara can't find an area on me that the metal won't appear to deflect. All along my legs, face, and body the steel materializes to protect the delicate flesh and organs behind it.

At the same time this power is killing me it is also keeping me alive.

Somehow we eventually get caught up in a closer range battle. I realize the fighting before was a test. This time I throw the kicks and punches, and he uses the same blocking techniques I had. The only advantage I have is that I can remodel these moves.

I'm sure he let me, but I manages to knick his forehead with the back of my metal finger. The drizzle of blood runs down the center of his face, but he doesn't wipe it off. Instead he smiles.

"It's exciting to see my training in action."

Then the battle continues.

The range and style of the battle changes multiple times, but like I had predicted before this fight, Madara gains the advantage when my powers start to weaken. The metal doesn't materialize as fast, and before long I have blood covering most parts of my body.

The last major blow I get in slices his mask in two to reveal his aged face and oddly paired eyes.

With that he unsheathes a long blade and in one swift motion severs my left arm from my body. Blood spurts out from every angle before everything goes numb. There's not even an ounce of pain. It might be because of the metal still in my body trying to keep me alive, or maybe I'm just in too much pain to really feel it.

I fall to the ground unable to battle anymore, and a smirk sets on Madara's lips. There's plenty I want to say to him but none of it would accomplish anything.

He squats beside me on the side that isn't bleeding out profusely and runs his fingers through my hair.

"If only there had been another way," he says before the temple suddenly disappears as well as Madara with it.

I lay there for what seems like forever, attempt to lift myself up, but fail miserably. At times I wish that Sasuke would come by and maybe he'd be able to fix things, but he's long gone. It doesn't take long to realize that this was Madara's plan all along.

Just as I'm about to close my eyes and welcome death, I think I hear heavy footsteps somewhere close. They're confirmed by someone shouting, male, and running steps. Then I'm picked up slightly, causing me to groan in agony at the sudden movements, and my head is placed on someone's lap.

I open up my eyes to see a face I thought I'd never see again.

"Hisoka?"

He seems distraught and unable to believe what is lying before his eyes.

I manage a chocked out _yeah_.

"Who the fuck did this to you? I swear to fucking Jashin I'm going to-"

"Hidan..."

I can't manage the words to tell him it's okay, and it's taking more of the energy I don't have just to stay awake.

There's so much I want to say to him. I want to tell him how much I missed him, how lost I was when he decided to end whatever had gone on between us, and even though I had Sasori's comfort there was just something missing.

Apparently he knows what I'm thinking because he leans down and kisses me with more passion than I can recall him ever having.

"I'm going to fix this, I fucking swear dammit."

Despite the cold he tears off his shirt and wraps it around the wound tightly and as best he can. Then he gently picks me up, but it doesn't stop me from crying out in an enormous amount of pain. I feel lightheaded as more of my blood oozes from my giant wound.

"Shit," he hisses as he starts to walk at a quickened pace.

"Hidan... No.." It's useless. I'm going to die before he even makes it out of the area.

Eventually my screaming becomes unbearable, and he stops so that he can place me down.

"I know it fucking hurts, but you have to hold on." He strokes my tear stained cheek and glances at the wound. Without even looking I can tell his shirt is soaked with my blood.

I still have no idea how I've managed to stay alive this long, but at the same time I think it's because of the powers that have been keeping me alive for so many years.

"You've changed," he says as he wipes the tears from my face.

If I could talk I would say the same. He hasn't changed much physically, except that his hair sticks out slightly in the front and on the sides, and there's piercings all along his ears.

There's something different about the way he's looking at me with fright that he's actually going to watch me die right in his arms. I really don't want to do that to him, but what choice do I have? If death wants me then I can't do anything else but accept it.

"You're not going to fucking die!"

If only his will alone could save me.

He picks me up again, making me cry and groan in absolute anguish.

We make it decently far before he sets me down again. This time I feel colder than the temperature outside, but I'm not shivering.

"Hisoka, don't you even think about it dammit!" He kisses me again with a heat that seems to revive me slightly. "You're not fucking going until I've told you how I felt."

I frown to tell him that he better tell me now before it's too late.

"Hell no..."

Then he sees something that makes him realize that this just might be it.

"Fine, but you can't fucking die!" He clenches his fists and clears his throat. "Every time I was around you I would go berserk, and when others were around you all I wanted to do was grab you and beat the fucking shit out of them. I _wanted_ you, Hisoka, and I fucking hated it!"

I didn't mean to cause him such stress, but before I could dwell deeper into it, Hidan kisses me once more. This kiss is his most passionate with so much fire put into it that I swear my throat is burning.

"I don't want to live without you," he struggles to say after the kiss.

Then he reaches into his pocket and reveals a silver chain with the familiar pendant that I still recognize even now. I don't know how he found it or where, but he slides it over my head and hangs it around my neck.

Then he picks me up as gently as he can and continues walking without another stop.

Any normal human would have died a long, long time ago. This fact keeps repeating in my head. The more it resonates the more I swear I'm hearing voices. It's like it wants me to be appreciative, which of course I am. If I would have died then I wouldn't have seen Hidan. I wouldn't have heard him confess to having feelings for me. I wouldn't trade those moments for anything. Even a new life.

Then I hear a soft melody beckoning me to close my eyes. Just for a while. The pain was subsiding now.

"I'm... tired," I grumble, and Hidan snaps his head down to look at me.

"Hell no! Stay awake, Hisoka!" He's almost in a jog, which makes me even sleepier. "We're almost there."

So it'll be okay if I just close my eyes for a second.

But there's one last thing I want to say.

"Never... leave me... again," I manage before my eyelids slowly close over my gray eyes.

I hear Hidan screaming and cursing for me to stay awake that people were coming to help. I even hear more shouting that drowns out Hidan's voice. Then all I can hear is that soft melody that pulls me deeper into the calm of sleep.

Finally my mind drifts off to somewhere else unsure if it'll ever see light again.


End file.
